“My mother is so much happier with her new best friend. It’s made all the difference,” said Juliette Lloyd, Fedora’s daughter.

According to Juliette, Fedora was a “War bride” and was living in Florence, Italy when she met her future husband. After the war, with the eventual blessing from Fedora’s father, they wed and had two children before moving to the U.S.

Continuing to visit relatives in Italy each summer, their family resided in Johnston, Pa. After selling the family home, Fedora and her husband moved to the Florida apartment where they had spent winters. Juliette, however, saw that maintaining their lifestyle was becoming difficult and hired in-home help for them. When her father passed away, Juliette and her mother agreed it would be best to move Fedora closer to her in Washington, D.C.

After a tremendous amount of research on senior living communities, Juliette felt that Sunrise on Connecticut Avenue, which offers assisted living and Alzheimer’s care, was the best. Instead of moving in permanently, Fedora did a respite stay for two years, spending summers at Sunrise and the remainder of the year in Florida.

“That gave her a chance to adjust so she didn’t have such a stark change,” said Juliette. “When we finally decided to make her full-time move up here, it was a lot easier. She knew the staff and felt comfortable.”

Fabrizio Moriconi, Jocelyne’s son, grew up in Tenleytown after his parents came to the U.S. in the 60s to pursue a dream of starting a wine business. While helping with their business, Jocelyne worked at the Belgian Embassy and enjoyed taking long trips to see her sister in her native country Belgium as well as her daughter who had moved to Italy.

When Fabrizio returned home after graduating, he noticed some changes in his mother who was soon diagnosed with dementia. He continued to live in their basement to care for her, but it was becoming harder and as a newlywed, he knew he eventually needed to move out. “We were never trained to take care of a person with this illness,” he said. “She wasn’t going out anymore; she was just watching TV all day.”

The doctor’s recommendation for an assisted living community was a challenging concept for Fabrizio. “It’s unheard of; in Italy, people take care of their parents at home,” he said. Sunrise on Connecticut Avenue, however, offered a perfect location right down the street from where she had lived many years. The family scheduled a lunch appointment, which is when Jocelyne met Fedora. Afterwards, she was filled with excitement after not only finding a friend but a future home she felt was very elegant.

Now the best friends are enjoying one another’s company in the active environment Sunrise provides. The staff at the community works with the families and residents to incorporate their backgrounds and passions into the daily activities. Fabrizio said, “A lot of times my mom’s not here and I have to look at the schedule because she’s on a boat to Baltimore, or a scenic trip to Rock Creek Park or the Art Gallery.”

Most importantly, Fabrizio and Juliette have peace of mind knowing their mothers have one another and an incredible support network. “It’s an enormous relief,” said Fabrizio. “It’s been a wonderful experience – the people here are great with my mother. You can tell when something is genuine.”

A native of southern New Jersey, Reba married her high school sweetheart when she was 19 years old. Since he was in the Navy, the couple moved to Pensacola, Fl. in 1941. During his nearly 20 years of service, the couple traveled to different locations while raising their three children.

The family eventually settled in Hyattsville, Md., and Reba’s husband went to George Washington University for a Pharmacy degree. While the children were in school, Reba worked as a secretary for General Electric for 14 years, but later realized she wanted to take a different direction.

“I decided I wanted to do something else,” she said. Having taken piano lessons in her youth, she wanted to continue this hobby and learn how to teach others the instrument.

Fresh out of school, her husband started his second career working for a pharmacy, but he was later presented with the opportunity to move to Baltimore and buy a drug store. Although Reba was somewhat reluctant to make the move, they ended up settling in a home in Monkton, where she was able to organize a community of students for teaching piano.

Unfortunately, tragedy struck when Reba’s husband was involved in an automobile accident that took his life. “I didn’t know what to do, so I just stayed there,” she said.

Reba, however, carried on the way she knew how by moving to the Mt. Washington neighborhood in Baltimore and continuing to teach piano. She spent two decades providing lessons to others while getting involved in musical and teaching organizations.

At age 85, she decided she had had enough of teaching piano, but after a year or two, she hungered for social activity and began considering the idea of moving to a retirement community. Although she loved her home, she knew it was becoming too much of a responsibility to maintain.

Her daughter Carol, who lived in Utah at the time, offered to come to town to assist Reba in researching the different options. With the help of Janet Kurland, LCSW-C, a Senior Care Specialist at Jewish Community Services, they began evaluating local communities. “I have never met anyone with as many resources at her fingertips,” said Carol.

Reba then started visiting several different communities, but it was when she walked into the apartment she currently lives in at Springwell Senior Living that she said, “This is for me.”

It was a clear decision as she said Springwell’s apartments were much more spacious in comparison to the apartments at other communities she visited within her budget. Offering Independent and Assisted Living along with Memory Care, Springwell does not require a large entrance fee, which was another aspect of the newly refurbished community that greatly appealed to Reba.

Although the choice of her future home came easily, the thought of physically moving was more difficult for Reba. Fortunately, her children provided her with assistance in downsizing, moving and setting up her new apartment.

“When it came time to make the actual move I was traumatized,” she said. “I couldn’t have done it without them.”

When entering the community, Reba had high hopes for her new home. “I came in with the attitude that I was going to make friends,” she said. And she has certainly done that, establishing relationships with not only several of her fellow residents, but the staff as well. “The great thing about Springwell is its small enough that everyone knows your name,” she continued. Her peers have not only embraced Reba, but they are especially drawn to her dog, Robin, whom she credits in helping her with the transition and meeting new people in the community.

Because Springwell is only two blocks from her previous home, she has also been able to stay in touch with many of her friends and neighbors. In fact, she often walks Robin several times a day and catches up with her old neighborhood connections.

Aside from making friends throughout the community, Reba has found the social activity she desired after no longer teaching piano. With the community’s location in close proximity to the offerings of Baltimore, she now enjoys going to the symphony, Center Stage and the art museums while attending various lectures and classes at Springwell. She has also joined the Myerberg Senior Center, located right down the road, where she participates in its offered programs.

Although the ability to stay socially engaged has been a huge perk for Reba, she has found that the care and support at Springwell is an especially important part of the community. Along with assisted living and memory care on the same 15-are campus, residents have access to the unique Partners in Care program that provides a range of personal and health related services from affiliated community healthcare organizations.

As Reba is currently going through rehabilitation after a recent knee replacement surgery, the convenience of her new setting has far surpassed that of her Mt. Washington home where she was living when her other knee was replaced several years ago.

“It was quite difficult,” she said about rehab in her previous home. “Here it has been much easier.”

“When I went through this at home I had to hire someone to drive me places,” Reba continued. Now, she enjoys having scheduled transportation along with a more easily accessible living environment overall. Knowing she has a support network, Reba looks forward to her full recovery in order to eventually pursue her goal of taking a cruise touring Norway.

It is the friendly atmosphere, convenience, maintenance-free living and other major benefits Reba has enjoyed at Springwell that encourages her to advise others to make the move sooner versus later.

From her own experience evaluating her home prior to the move, especially in terms of maintenance and social activity, she said, “Plan ahead and be realistic when looking at your current home, what it offers you, and what you are willing to do.”

While she may have spent several years teaching piano, Reba offers a truly valuable lesson when it comes to making decisions about the future. Like so many others, she was facing the difficulty of maintaining her home, but her research and positive outlook certainly paid off as seen in her happiness at the new Springwell community.

David’s career jumpstarted when he began volunteering for VISTA, which led to the couple’s volunteer services in other parts of the U.S.

“My wife and I learned a lot about social action, community organization and doing something about poverty,” he said.

Eventually, the couple moved to Jacksonville where David continued his activist work in the local community and Caroline conducted educational programs. During the 40 years the Swains lived in Florida, David received degrees that also enabled him to fulfill his original goal of teaching in higher education.

With the Swains focusing all of their time and efforts doing what they were most passionate about, they never had any children, but they always had their future years in mind.

“Part of our planning was finding a place we could go in our retirement years; a place with social and cultural stimulation along with medical care and security,” said David.

After an extensive search, the couple chose Pennswood, which they had become very familiar with while David’s father was a resident. Knowing the community was full of creative and vibrant individuals, the Swains also learned first-hand its high quality of medical care and resident involvement.

“The efforts and enjoyments my father had here for 20 years were part of what attracted us to Pennswood,” he said. “We knew we could come to a community that had a lot going for it and contribute in our own active way through our volunteer work over the years.”

The Swains officially made their move in June, the same month Henry had 29 years earlier. And now, with the community celebrating its 30-year anniversary, David hopes to build on the Pennswood life of his father, whom he considers a pioneer having moved to the community from Chicago and contributing considerably to its development.

They know they can do just that with a staff that supports an active environment and is receptive to residents’ ideas. While pursuing their outside hobbies, the couple has been encouraged to share their travel experiences with others in the community. David also plans to join the Concert Committee and help bring in educational speakers as part of the Forum Committee. Caroline, on the other hand, has already been asked to become secretary of the Residents Association and sits on the Pennswood Village Resident Association Board of Directors. She has also become active in the Pennswood Intergenerational Program with Newtown Friends School, a program with which Henry was one of the first, and very beloved, residents involved.

With his father playing a major part in Pennswood’s past, it is clear that as a new generation, David, and Caroline, have their minds set on the even better years to come.

“We have a great future here undoubtedly because we’ll make it that way, that’s the beauty of this place,” said David. “We’re not looking at what has been, but looking to the future and thinking of how we can improve and continue the excellence.”

When her husband went to Florida, Roslyn entered an assisted living facility for respite care in order to join him later. Due to poor care, however, she checked herself out and received help from an in home caregiver. Unfortunately Roslyn’s health didn’t improve and was unable to join her husband, therefore he returned home. Soon Mrs. Michelson was hospitalized, after which they proceeded to have a full-time caregiver.

Despite having long-term care insurance, Roslyn had not had the strength to get the appropriate paperwork organized and submitted to the company and was therefore paying the caregiver out of pocket along with the long-term care premiums.

As a result, Roslyn’s social worker insisted she enlist outside help and contacted Mary Helen Dennis with InfoDoc, Inc., a daily money management and professional organizing service. Although Roslyn was hesitant to be paying for such services, they established a relationship that lasted three years.

With the help of InfoDoc, the long-term care paperwork was submitted and a system was set up accordingly for the caregiver to regularly send her bills directly to the insurance company. Since paperwork “drove her crazy,” Roslyn’s husband had always handled it until his health began to fail. In turn, Mary Helen, who also developed a working relationship with Roslyn’s attorney and tax accountant, helped clean out and organize her files, from gathering her tax documents on time to recovering requested documents for the estate attorney.

In 2005, when her husband passed away, Roslyn received help filing the life insurance claims, and was surprised to learn there was a third policy of which she was unaware. According to Mary Helen, this was due to the policies being purchased over 50 years before and the insurance company names having since changed. Later that year, Roslyn moved to an assisted living facility and received frequent visits from Mary Helen who also continued to offer her services until Roslyn’s passing in December of 2008.

Not only did the help of a daily money manager help Roslyn in the last few years of her life, but it also provided her loved ones with peace of mind as her two daughters now know exactly where to find all of her important documents.

Since his move five years ago, Barbara quit her part-time job at a boutique in Bethesda to become his caregiver. “Dad was quite functional when he moved up here,” she said. “After seven months, I became aware that he needed to do something else…he needed some involvement and stimulation.”

Barbara learned about a program called Arts for the Aging where artists interact with aging services programs. Although the program was not completely appropriate for her father, they connected Barbara to Friends Club, a program that brings together active gentlemen in the early-to-mid stages of Alzheimer’s disease in a caring, safe and secure environment.

“My dad was never someone that was involved with group activities, but he loves going to Friends Club,” said Barbara. “They make each and every gentleman think that the program was created just for them, and we are letting the other guys in. They love it.”

While she said her father’s memory is not too good, he has been involved with the program for three years and is very functional in its setting. For Barbara, the program is great and a perfect match for Jerry who attends three days a week and is able to contribute to the group.

“Seeing my dad having something to look forward to has been an amazing experience,” she said.

And Barbara has even benefited from connecting with the wives and families of other participants. “We have a support group that meets twice a month, which has been amazing,” she said.

She continued, “The difference between Friends Club and other programs that I have observed is how much dignity they treat the men with. They are not treated as though they are ‘ill.’ The stories of these men are incredible; this is an amazing place for all of us.”

For others in the same situation, Barbara offered the advice of lowering expectations and raising one’s acceptance levels. Most importantly, she said, “Find a support group; there are others just like you out there and it helps to have someone else to talk to.”

To whom do I owe this welcomed addition to my vocabulary? Andrew Blechman, the author of “Leisureville.”

Blechman tells the story of how his beloved neighbors made the decision to leave his New England neighborhood for the largest retirement community in the nation, The Villages in Central Florida. His neighbors spoke so highly of this community and their decision to leave that it piqued his interest to experience it firsthand.

In “Leisureville,” Blechman introduces you to a wide variety of individuals that have made The Villages their home. Throughout the book, he explores why they made the decision to move and how they feel their life in The Villages is better, worse or challenging. Most importantly though, he challenges the notion that a community should legally be allowed to segregate by age.

I have read countless books written by “aging experts” in my 20-year career. As I reflect on it, “Leisureville” has probably had more impact than any of them. I think this is due to the fact that Blechman approached this book from the simple perspective of someone who was curious about why his neighbor was moving. His objective approach and lack of a previous connection to “aging services” allowed him to be critical of the concept of gated retirement communities which essentially promote the concept of age segregation.

“Leisureville” explores age segregation primarily in housing and community development. Since reading this book nearly a year ago, I have become much more aware that this segregation is widespread in all aspects of our society, and that there is a wall between the generations that is getting dangerously higher. In many ways I have been an integral part of building this wall. I credit Blechman with helping me to see my “industry” through a different lens, and for having the courage to challenge aspects of this business that might be acceptable but don’t make sense.

“Leisureville” is an entertaining book with lots of interesting characters, most notably the “Viagra munching Mr. Midnight!”

Order the book at: http://astore.amazon.com/guidtoretiliv-20/detail/0802144187

A few years ago, Shirley Goldscher became ill and was in need of full time care. “Years ago, my mother-in-law suffered from the same type of ailment,” Mr. Goldscher explained. “We placed her in a very nice nursing home, and yet I knew right then that I was not going to do the same with my wife. I wanted to be involved in her welfare and care”

The Goldshers chose in-home care and turned to the Elizabeth Cooney Personnel Agency in Maryland. Isadore planned to select a caregiver at random, until he came across an ad for the agency which really struck a familiar cord. Coincidentally, years before Isadore’s wife became ill, he took a trip to Florida. It was there that Isadore heard two women speaking about the agency he would one day use to care for his wife. “One of the women traveling had recently hired the Elizabeth Cooney Agency to help with her mother’s care,” said Goldscher. “Now, here she was, able to take a trip. She said that she felt free.”

Matching clients with appropriate caregivers is a top priority for the Elizabeth Cooney Agency. “The first caregiver that came to us was just not a good fit,” explained Goldscher. “We called the agency and they immediately sent us Ella. She’s been with us ever since.”

For the Goldschers, in-home care has proven to be the right choice. Caregivers have met both physical and emotional needs. The Goldschers were also pleasantly surprised by the closeness which developed between their caregiver and the family. Goldscher noted, “We’re very involved in each others lives-even my sons know Ella.”

Not only is Shirley provided with everything from meals to medicine, but at the end of the evening, Isadore always notices the simple goodnight kiss his wife receives from Ella before she leaves.

“Today I drove to Columbia and spent a few hours at my son’s sandwich shop. I didn’t feel rushed to come right home because I knew my wife was well taken care of. Every day, I am so happy to have my wife, and I’m going to keep her with me as long as I can,” concludes Goldscher.

At the tender age of 16, Joe began working for his father’s general contracting company and contributed to many construction projects. He even used his talents to construct a new home for his family.

After being drafted into the Army, Joe became a paramedic for the Department of Veterans Affairs Outpatient Clinic. For over two years, he provided excellent care to veterans. He left the Army as a Corporal.

His return to civilian life included a return to carpentry, but he sought more out of life. Joe gave of his spare time and became a volunteer fireman for the Congress Volunteer Fire Department, located just outside New York City. For over 50 years, he served as a dedicated volunteer for the department.

Joe’s retirement home in Saratoga Springs, FL was the last one he built. In order to get involved in his new community, he joined the Elks Club and played on a local softball team. The remainder of his spare time was spent in the garden. Joe grew banana, grapefruit, and orange trees, as well as peas, cucumbers, and watermelon.

After years in the sunshine state, he began to consider a move to Virginia in order to be closer to his son. They selected Tall Oaks at Reston Assisted Living, and Joe made the move in 2004. However, once his move was complete, Joe quickly grew restless. He assisted the maintenance staff by planting flowers and sewing grass, but these small tasks were not enough. A nice, new garden proved to be the elixir for his boredom.

Once spring arrived, Joe was given quite a surprise. Tall Oaks had set aside a plot of land and all of the supplies he would need to make his dream garden a reality.

Joe immediately began to cultivate the land and prepare it for a variety of fruits and vegetables. Beans, broccoli, brussel sprouts, cantaloupe, cucumbers, peas, peppers, sweet corn, and watermelon now grow in his garden. He typically spends four hours a day carefully tending his crops. Each day, he meticulously waters his plants, sprays each one with essential minerals, and pulls every weed.

Throughout the next few months, Joe will share the fruits of his labor with the residents of Tall Oaks. He plans to donate the vegetables from his garden to the kitchen staff, so that his fellow residents can enjoy his fresh produce. Meanwhile, Joe is already looking forward to next season when he hopes to plant strawberries, and perhaps even a banana tree. For the moment, he will bask in the summer sunshine and work on making his garden grow.

The couple was amazed by the wide array of choices available. “Some had small campuses, while others were extremely large. Accommodations ranged from tight and cramped to five-star, which felt like staying in a huge hotel,” says Bill. Shirley adds, “Activity programs at the communities varied from little or none to extremely busy calendars run by large staffs.”

After a long search, the Mortimers found Mallard Landing, an independent living community in Salisbury, MD. “When we approached Mallard Landing, we felt it was the right size, with condominium-style apartments that satisfied our wants and needs,” they remember.

Having finally found the perfect community, the couple was anxious to move in. “The staff at Mallard Landing provided plenty of assistance to make our transition swift and smooth,” Bill relates.

Bill and Shirley quickly became involved in their new community. They have found their new neighbors to be “like family,” and that has really helped them adjust. They have gotten to know many of their fellow residents and are enjoying becoming a part of the close-knit community.

Bill concludes, “Both Shirley and I enjoy living in our condominium apartment; we feel like it’s been our home for a long time. We are involved in the wonderful activities here, and the surroundings are great. Our campus is beautiful, making life here even more enjoyable. We are home!”

But the truth is, there is much more to successful retirement years than finances and travel.

As a Certified Retirement Coach, my practice addresses achieving a retirement with purpose, passion, balance and fulfillment.

Residing in Southwest Florida, known to many as the retirement capital of the world, I have seen first hand how thousands relocate here, buy a waterfront home, new car and boat for their dock. One would think, with all these creature comforts, they would be the happiest retirees on the face of the planet. Some are, but many aren’t. Niceties such as housing, recreational activities, pensions and medical facilities are largely insignificant compared to our resolve to live a great life.

Living “the great life” begins with getting connected.