Everyone is Aging Blog

I was delighted to see that John Kelly of The Washington Post did a great article and video featuring Bob Schapiro, one of the subjects of my post last week about living a life with "purpose".

Bob is a curious man who doesnt let grass grow under his feet and he seems to find purpose, friends and meaningful activities easily on his own. I think its important for those of us working in this field to serve as a "guide" by getting to know those we are working with on a deeper level and help them brainstorm ways they can engage in meaningful connections.

In the video, Bob states "I am doing something with my time that is worthwhile" a great reminder that this desire to serve others is ageless and shouldnt stop just because someone lives in a senior living community!

For many a move to a senior living community or nursing home can be a traumatic change for the resident.  Because there are so many people to offer assistance in these settings its common for residents to stop helping others, stop or reduce energy toward trying to do things for themselves, and dreaming about the future.  There are many individuals that choose a different path – whether on their own or with the encouragement of others.

Kim Ahn

Fairfax County Times photographer Shamus Ian Fatzinger was driving by a basketball court on a recent 100 degree day.  He saw a lone shirtless player and thought it would make for a good photo.  Then Kim Ahn arrived, age 74, Shamus states,“She said that she found out she had high cholesterol and blood pressure so she started playing basketball for 2 hours each day. She told me she wears a hat to keep the sun off of her face and the fleece gloves were to protect her manicure. She was also followed by a soundtrack of Vietnamese religious music that was playing on a cell phone in her pocket. Very cool lady.”

Bob Schapiro

Yesterday I had a meeting at Friendship Terrace Retirement Community, when I entered the lobby I was happy to see Bob Schapiro, a resident that I interviewed for an article earlier this year.  Click here to read the article and watch a video of Bob.

Similar to Kim shooting hoops, Bob finds purpose in collecting cigar boxes. I remember him proudly showing me some of his “finds” when I first met him.  He told me that going out and looking for these was an adventure and is what “keeps me young”.  So, I was a bit surprised to see two carts with hundreds of cigar boxes in the corner of the lobby! 

I learned that Bob is now sharing his collection with the young soldiers at Walter Reed Medical Center.  The soldiers can now keep their personal items in a unique cigar box thanks to Bob!  Its great to see how he was able to turn his hobby which kept him occupied and happy into a project with such meaning!

Nursing Home Resident Council with a Purpose

Most assisted living and nursing homes have resident councils.  These are generally the equivalent of “student governments” in elder care settings.  Their structure and organization can vary greatly ranging from reviewing the details of management and operation decisions to reviewing menus and programming.  While independent living communities often have very active and organized resident councils – many times assisted living and nursing homes struggle to get residents involved.

At the Pioneer Network Conference I had the good fortune to attend a session featuring Mark Latham, Administrator of Pleasant View Center a Nursing Home in Concord, NH.  Mark shared how his community had similar challenges, and how he gave the residents the flexibility and a platform to create a resident council that has taken on some ambitious projects with meaning and purpose.

This meaningful work started with a discussion amongst residents that “hunger in New Hampshire is unacceptable”.  It set off a series of events and activities that has raised over $80,000 to date for the NH Food Bank and encouraged other communities and nursing centers to follow their model and help out.  The group has not stopped there – they are continuing to take on important issues and concerns to the residents. 

As Mark Latham talked about this change in his center – I had a visions of a Hollywood movie!  I asked if the residents getting a taste of “activities” with such meaning and purpose, did they continue participation in the traditional activities in the center?  He shared that he thought that might be a result, but it wasn’t.  This program was offering the residents another option, and fortunately because there are so many involved in the project a resident has the flexibility to skip a conference call if one of their favorite activities is scheduled at the same time.

He mentioned that the residents are open to reaching out to other communities to share what they have learned and help others – here is the contact information: Barbara.platts-comeau@genesishcc.com.

 

Click here for some additional information on the Seniors Aid New Hampshire Program.

The closing session at most trade shows and conferences can sometimes be a “commercial” for the next years show. So I was tempted to skip the closing session at the Pioneer Network Conference to catch up on emails.  I am glad that I didn’t – all of the speakers were very good – but my favorite was Omar Cain.  Omar is a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) who works in a nursing home in the Philadelphia area.  Check out this video of Omar!

Omar performed his song on the video at the conference – the entire crowd was on their feet!  

I really connected with the poem he recited before the song,

IN 1997 A GROUP WAS FORMED.

PROMINENT PROFESSIONALS PIONEER WAS BORN

CALLED FOR A CHANGE THE IMPACT WAS RADICAL

SO CULTURE OF AGING IS HUMANE AND HABITABLE

EMBRACE FLEXIBILTY, AND SELF DETERMINATION

IN A SUPPORTIVE COMMUNITY THAT BUILDS A RELATION

CARING FOR AMERICAS ELDERS IN A STATE OF AGING

REGARDLESS OF AGE, CONDITIONS, OR LIMITATIONS

IT’S NOT A DESTINATION AJACENT TO A JOURNEY

DIFFERENT FROM TRADITIONAL MODELS, BUT MORE HOMELY’

THE DREAM IS IT BECOMES WORLD WIDE SELECTED 

CONSUMER DRIVEN AND RESIDENT DIRECTED

IT’S MORE THAN A TASK BETTER YET A MISSION

A RACE TO THE FINISH BUT NOT A COMPETITION

A HOME TO RESIDE TO THRIVE NOT DECLINE

UPLIFT SPIRITS AND BODY AND MIND WILL RESPOND

CULTURE CHANGE IS A WORK IN PROGRESS 

TOGETHER AS ONE WE CAN SPEED THIS PROCESS

THIS IS ABOUT LIFE NOT ABOUT A PROFIT

WE GOTTA EXERCISE OUR VOICE TO SENATE AND CONGRESS

THIS WAY OF LIFE IS BETTER  PHYSICALLY  STIMULATES MENTALLY

HELP SAVE OUR LIVES WE ALL GET OLDER EVENTUALLY

IT’S A HEAVY LOAD WE ALL MUST HOLD

“The only thing that should change when someone moves to a nursing home is their address”

This was a quote that someone shared with me at the Pioneer Network Annual Conference last week. Although it may seem like a lofty and unacheivable goal - after attending this event and meeting so many caring, creative and committed people - I am confident that we will see dramatic sweeping changes in senior living in the near future!

I was a speaker and it was my first time attending one of their conferences. I am kicking myself for not attending sooner!  The Pioneer Network was founded with a focus on radical change in the culture of aging often referred to as the "Culture Change" movement in Nursing Homes and Long-Term Care Settings.  Click here for a definition of Culture Change.

I guess I thought that concepts of Culture Change relied primary on changes to the physical structure of a community or nursing center.  After attending the conference I realize how wrong my interpretation was!  Through conversations with attendees and going to several seminars it’s clear that this movement is centered on the people living in these homes.  As Holly Whiteside Author of "The Caregiver’s Compass" states, “The architectural or administrative changes only support and facilitate people shifting their focus to human connection.”

It gave me hope that there are so many caring people motivated to think creatively and try new ideas to improve these environments.  I also liked the fact that there was so much healthy debate and challenging of ideas and thoughts.  I liked how everyone seemed to challenge each other from the viewpoint of “is that going to be what the resident wants?”

There were many topics and resources that I discovered at the conference, I hope to explore many of these in future postings on the blog and in articles in Guide to Retirement Living SourceBook.  :

If you are working with seniors and their families you need to try to attend a Pioneer Network event.  Trust me, there is nothing you will read that will convey the benefits of attending this event with your eyes wide open and a willingness to meet and talk to others. The programming and organization are great – but it’s the people that you will meet that will make you feel confident that we will have better care for our elders.

 

The folks at MetLife really churn out some great research! The other day I learned that they recently released a study “How Purpose is Recession-Proof and Age-Proof” which is a follow up to last years research “Discovering What Matters” which I mentioned back in March 09 during my first move to a senior living community.

You can read the details of both of these research projects at their website. For me this report is simply a reminder that above all else having purpose is the most important element at all ages.

It might seem like common sense, but I feel that this often escapes many of us in the senior living and care giving world.  I recently interviewed a 99 year old resident in a senior living community who shared a wonderfully unique story of purpose that he feels has "kept him alive". I hope you enjoy it! 

Last week I had the opportunity to participate in a Virtual Dementia Tour at Arden Courts Alzheimer’s Assisted Living in Annandale, VA.  The tour is a program created by Second Wind Dreams and administered by three Arden Courts staff members. 

I was joined by my colleague Marlene Zaborsky and a staff member at Arden Courts for the tour.  After a brief consultation, we moved into the community where we were “outfitted” for the tour. As you can see from my flattering photo, each of us were fitted with gloves to simulate Arthritis, goggles to simulate Macular Degeneration, an ill fitting jacket, and corn kernels in our shoes to simulate peripheral nerve damage. However, the most dramatic element was a headphones with a truly confusing mix of noises. 

At this point I was completely confused, I realized that someone was giving me some instructions and leading me into an apartment for the tour. I barely heard the instructions, once in the apartment I tried to muddle through tasks.  Halfway through, Marlene entered the room in the same attire; we quietly went about our business.  I later learned she didn’t hear any of the instructions and was just following my lead.  She had a complete different set of instructions! The entire experience only lasted ten minutes, but it seemed like it was much longer.

After the three of us concluded the tour, we all met to discuss the experience with the moderation of our leaders. An Arden Courts staff member was in the room during our each of our tours and shared her observations on our behavior. It was very interesting to hear someone talk about your reactions when you are under the limitations of this simulation.

There are definitely a few more details, but overall the Virtual Dementia Tour really opened my eyes to what some of the challenges that others may be facing.  My tour was only ten minutes long, and its simulating disabilities that will last a lifetime for many people. 

I would not change any aspects of the tour, if feel it’s truly effective at sensitizing you to a different perspective.  However, I feel it’s important to recognize that all elders don’t necessarily have all the disabilities that it simulates. I feel that this would be valuable experience for those providing direct care to elders (which Arden Courts does) and family members.  I am eager to begin reflecting on the perspective I gained from this tour.  

 

Today I had a great conversation with Barbara Sullivan, who was on the leadership team at Paul Spring, the first community I “moved” into.  Barbara has just launched a new business, Silver Age, LLC.

Barbara and I were talking about some of the innovations getting headlines lately such as the MedCottage , Paro the robotic seal  and the variety of technology devices that provide medication reminders .

I joked that my wife has been reminding me to take out the trash since we have been married (and I still don’t do it).  Wouldn’t it be smart to have a device that could remind me of all the things I need to do in my 20s, 30s, 40s?  When I get to my 70s and 80s the same device could be used to remind me about medications if needed (or taking out the trash!)

My point is that it’s the stigma of an “age or disability” specific device that makes so many resist these products.  

Could a MedCottage be a workshop or a home office? Could Paro the robotic seal be a pet for a child with allergies? And we already know that I need help reminding me to take out the trash on Tuesday and Thursday … or is that Monday and Wednesday?

 

The other day I learned that a senior apartment building in Northern Virginia, The Marque at Heritage Hunt  had lifted its age restriction.  I spoke with the manager last week and it seems that the primary motivator for this change centered on financing issues that made it more beneficial to make the shift a traditional apartment building.

To my knowledge, this is the first community in the mid-Atlantic region to make a transition like this in my 20 year career, so I am extremely curious to see how this story plays out.

The community has never reached full occupancy, but they do report more inquiries after the change.  Although the first 14 month old child will soon be living in the building, I doubt that there will be an influx of families with children lining up to move in, but you never know. I am very interested in how young families and elders will benefit from this change or complexities that arise in the community.

I actually think that this community will have an easier time attracting the type of resident that they have been targeting since their opening.  I feel that one of the best ways to market a community for seniors is not to have a sign in front that says it’s exclusively for seniors! 

A transition like this may be a bit challenging, after all the existing residents bought into the concept of age restrictions when they moved in.  There is sure to be some anxiety in some peoples minds that opening their doors to younger people will dramatically change the community.

I hope to follow the story of this community on this blog. What are your thoughts on this change? Would you like to see this in other communities?

Photo credit: L. Roger Turner an entry in the 2004 Generations United photo contest, click here for more information Generations United and their annual photo contest.

Baseball season is in full swing and it looks like my crystal ball prediction that Hollywood would jump on the story of the minor league ballplayer, Josh Faiola living in assisted living community seems to be playing out nicely. Here is my original post, and here is a link to a recent Hollywood Reporter article.

Let’s hope that Hollywood shows our elders and the "senior living community" in a positive light! If not we can sick Betty White on them!

I recently connected with Cindy Griffith-Novak, who operates The Belvedere, which is the community that hosted Josh last season. She reports they are hosting another Erie Crushers player this year, the teams catcher Joel Collins. She shared that over 60 residents and family members cheered the Crushers on to victory in box seats at opening day!

I am also excited that other senior housing communities are following Cindy’s lead and are hosting players, I found this article about an assisted living community hosting Crushers pitcher, Phillip Rummel. 

I don’t think it will be long before there are more Erie Crusher’s players in assisted living than there are in traditional neighborhood homes!

I urge all providers use this as an example and begin to think about “hosting” residents that can add to the diversity of their current resident profile!  I have said it too many times, but I hope this is truly the future of senior living!

 

This blog started out as a way to document my moves into senior living settings, I realized the other day that it’s evolved into sort of a checklist of what I would like to see in the place where I live.

So here is a start at what I would like to see in a home:

• A setting that is inviting to individuals and families of all ages and abilities.


• An environment that encourages neighbors to help each other and values independence and interdependence equally.


• A location that enables a car-free lifestyle and is very close to a grocery store.


• A place that doesn’t have a label, such as a home for people who are …


• A setting that embraces the concepts of Universal Design.


• A place where if my needs change services can provided by those who are in close proximity, my family, my peers, paid providers, and I have access to "a guide" to help me establish purpose through my new life transition.

I don’t currently live in a home that includes all of these elements right now. I don’t want to wait until I am a "senior" or have changes in my life to live in an environment like the one I am describing.

What does your dream home look like?

I raised a question recently at the presentation to a group of activity directors, “If the owner of a senior living community had a choice to spend $1 million on improving the real estate or “invest” the same amount of money on programming to improve the lifestyle and culture of the community – which would be better?” Obviously the group of activity directors was somewhat dumbstruck by a hypothetical question like that; you would be amazed at how slim many of their budgets are in nursing centers and senior living communities.

After a few statements like “it would never happen”, we had a great discussion on how much better an investment would be for the residents, staff and families in a community.

Since then I have posed the same question to several groups that have included management and marketing staff at a variety of senior living communities. I have received a few comments that the consumer who is shopping for these settings would prefer real estate improvements like granite countertops, updated furniture or an elegant lobby over programming at the point of the initial transaction. 

Do you think this is accurate? If so, is it possible to better market the programming and culture of a community to the point that operators might consider investing more in this area?

 

Betty White has been generating a lot of headlines lately. She has surprised many in the youth focused entertainment industry by setting audience records with her recent appearance on Saturday Night Live and starring in a popular Super Bowl commercial.

Will this mark a significant change in how we view elders in popular culture, movies and television? I certainly hope so, but I am really counting on this recent attention around Betty White to create more awareness about an important television show on her resume – The Golden Girls.

Over the last year or so I have encouraging elders and families to think about what I refer to as “The Golden Girls Option”, especially if there are financial concerns. It has been very well received in concept, as there are so many individuals living alone in homes that are a bit too large for one person. The concept of friends coming together to share a residence can represent cost savings, but it also can offer companionship and support that can celebrate the unique strengths of the “roommates”.

• Mary doesn’t drive anymore, but she loves to cook.


• Joe never cooked but he drives and enjoys painting.


• Cindy prefers not to drive, her house is much too large, but with so many memories she finds it hard to imagine moving away.

Through minimal cost they are able to remodel Cindy’s house to offer the three roommates a fair amount of privacy. They begin work together to create their “rules” and a schedule.

Will these three live in perfect harmony together? Definitely not! Just watch an episode of the Golden Girls to see some of the scenarios that will certainly pop up. Think about the other alternatives for these three – those wont be “perfect” either!

 

I am still reflecting on my time at the cohousing conference that I wrote about a few weeks ago. I love Dene Peterson’s comment on the post where she expands beyond the sense of purpose that is achieved by living in a cohousing community, she states, 

“I think another great benefit of the “sweat equity” of ElderSpirit and cohousing, in contrast to Continuing Retirement Communities, is that our residents have smaller monthly fees which leaves them with disposable income where they can travel and enjoy the amenities in the surrounding area. The residents remain active and engaged outside their small neighborhood.”

What if we created a retirement community that made it a requirement for those residents living in independent living to provide a minimum amount of hours per month helping those in assisted living and skilled nursing. If a community with 100 independent living residents had a 10 hour minimum that would be an additional 1000 hours of support to the residents and staff.

In some communities I have witnessed a disconnection between the independent residents and those living in assisted and nursing sections of the community. A system like this could help break down those walls.

As Dene alludes to, there can probably be some cost savings achieved over time with the additional support of the independent residents … something I think very few people would complain about!

 

I was delighted to hear from Cindy Griffiths-Novak, my favorite assisted living operator today!

Cindy shares that her assisted living community, The Belvedere Assisted Living in Westlake, Ohio will be hosting another player this year, Joel Collins, a Lake Erie Crusher’s catcher.

Cindy also reports that there are now four other assisted living facilities in the area that are hosting minor league players as well. She states, “It’s a win/win for residents, families and the players!!”

Let’s hope this is a trend that continues!!

Read my previous posts about this topic 

 

I am involved in an interesting project at Sunset Hills Montessori, the school that my two children attend. After accessing the needs and curriculum of the school we are reaching out to the senior housing communities in close proximity to engage the residents as a resource.

To kick this concept off, we are having an intergenerational drum circle with the children and the residents of Tall Oaks Assisted Living this Wednesday. This video provides a preview of the concept.

When I was posting this video on YouTube I stumbled onto this video for The Intergenerational School in Cleveland, OH.

After watching the video and then visiting their website I was extremely impressed with the concept.

From the Intergenerational School website:

“Our educational model was born from the desire to create a school that honored and respected children and enabled them to each learn in a time frame and manner that suited their individual capabilities. To do this meant rejecting age as the single most important factor in organizing the educational environment and experiences.”

This charter school has really implemented some great concepts that illustrate how breaking down the walls of age among the young and the old can unlock great potential!

 

I recently learned that one of the parents at my children’s school has authored a book, titled The Green Hour. I haven’t read the book yet, but here is a definition of a “green hour” from the National Wildlife Federation website:

“Children should have "green hour" every day–a time for unstructured play and interaction with the natural world. Whether in the backyard, the local park, or a green space farther afield, time spent outdoors is essential to the healthy development of young minds, bodies, and spirits.”

As I read this I was reminded of an elder I met in one of my stays last year who shared with me that she hadn’t been outside for over a month. When I offered to go on a walk with my fellow resident, her first response was “how much will it cost?”

That conversation raised my awareness of just how many elders are isolated inside their homes, communities or nursing centers for extended periods of time. The isolation may have started because of disability, but it eventually becomes habit and the "norm" in that elders life.

Video games, television, and changes in our culture have made it “normal” for children to spend more time indoors. The Green Hour appears to be a book designed to present solutions for a healthy change.

It’s equally important for us to present solutions that bring our elders outside for “interaction with the natural world” as well. It should not be “normal” for anyone to spend a month inside!

Ever since I learned about the concept of cohousing, I felt that it could truly be a wonderful “solution” for “aging” solutions.

If you don’t know what Cohousing is, here is a definition from Cohousing Association:

Cohousing residents are consciously committed to living as a community. The physical design encourages both social contact and individual space. Private homes contain all the features of conventional homes, but residents also have access to extensive common facilities such as open space, courtyards, a playground and a common house.

Sounds pretty good? If we live in neighborhoods where we know and take care of each other, it reduces our need to rely on traditional “aging services” for support.

Last weekend I attended the Mid Atlantic Cohousing Conference at University of Maryland. The dialogue at the conference confirmed I am definitely not alone in my thinking about cohousing; one of the fastest growing segments in this housing market niche is “seniors cohousing”.

However, I went to the conference with somewhat of a mindset against seniors cohousing, my thought was a neighborhood that didn’t segregate by age would be the best environment to celebrate and utilize the wisdom and resources of elders.

That all changed when I heard Dene Peterson speak about Elderspirit, a cohousing community she founded in southwest Virginia. Dene had great energy and countless lessons to share in developing this unique and vibrant community.  One of the best things I took away from her presentation was how living in a cohousing community required “work” which helps provides a sense of purpose for all the residents.  This I feel tends to the exact opposite of the perception of senior housing, most people view our current models focus on “not working” and letting everyone do things for you. 

I hope that we begin to see more ways of blending this “spirit” into traditional senior housing settings!

“The generation gap is an immensely misleading term. It implies that people from different generations are inherently different whereas people within a generation are inherently similar.”

This quote is from a University of Michigan student, and is just one of the good “nuggets” from the book Aging Awakenings: Assisted Living Residents Teach University Students to Overcome Ageism by Richard C. Adelman, Ph.D. which details the thoughts, ideas, and transitions of students and residents involved in an innovative program that engages college students and the residents of a senior living community.

The book details a research project that studied the thoughts and views of over 60 students at the University of Michigan. The project first had students share their thoughts on aging, which not surprisingly revealed a bias towards stereotypes that most of the elderly have cognitive and physical challenges, and that the majority of the elderly have conservative and stubborn mindsets, etc. Then each of the students engaged in a year long program where they were matched up with residents of University Living.

At the end of the program it was fairly conclusive that the experience debunked the majority of the previously held stereotypes. Every student that previously regarded the elderly as conservative, or felt that the elderly did not have the ability to learn new things before they entered the program had discarded those viewpoints at the end.

What’s’ even more exciting is the new things that the student learned from their relationships in the senior community. They overwhelmingly reported that they admired the elder’s skills in conflict resolution, their insights on death, and to many students a big surprise was that they found their insights on love and sex tremendously helpful.

I found many of the insights in this book in alignment with my own experiences in senior living communities and many of the thoughts that we discuss on this blog. Armed with the mindset that “everyone is aging”, it will be exciting to see how the students that participated in this program can help change the world and views of aging. Lets hope that programs like this will soon be required courses on campuses across the county – and imagine the all the great engagement with elders that can take place if that happens.

I highly recommend this book to staff and management of senior living communities, it should help them think differently about the value of the residents and an example of engagement with the community in a positive way.

Click here to order the book

 

Last week the residents of Sunrise at Bluemont Park and the second grade students from Ashlawn Elementary School had an opportunity participate together in a truly unique intergenerational activity.

The retirement community residents and school children had been corresponding with each other as “pen pals” but had never met in person. When they finally got together to meet in person, they all engaged in a drum circle at the senior living community. Take a look at the brief video I shot of the children and elders:

If you follow this blog, you know I am a huge fan of Alan Yellowitz and the unique brand of activities that his company, The Beat Goes On provides to a rapidly growing number of senior living communities. Alan facilitates drum circles in communities; see my previous post and a video of another one of his “sessions”.

This afternoon I moderated a discussion featuring Dr. Judah Ronch and Dr. Bill Thomas at my alma-mater UMBC. The session focused on the challenges of eldercare in the workplace.

I had a moment of clarity in the session regarding the similarities between being a working parent with young children and being a working caregiver for an elder. Since most of the attendees were parents, this seemed to be a fitting comparison.

I reflected on how I have personally been caught dozens of times over the years without a caregiver (babysitter) for my children and left with the only option of taking them into the office with me. As well behaved as they can be, this generally leads to a disruption in the workplace and very little work gets done by me or anyone else when my kids are in the office.

I rarely hear about employers or employees inviting aging parents into the workplace. However, in theory it makes a lot of sense. These are individuals that possess years of wisdom and they might actually volunteer to contribute to the productivity during their stay! I think most parents would also be very interested in seeing their children at work

Since Take Your Sons and Daughters to Work Day is celebrated every year on April 22nd, I think that the creation of a Take an Elder to Work Day certainly makes a lot of sense.

 

I don’t have a crystal ball reading on the future of social media, but I do see a tremendous benefit to a platform like Facebook in preserving each of our own personal histories. These personal histories can be invaluable to families and friends as we celebrate the passing of our loved ones in the future.

Facebook is still less than 10 years old; it offers us all an easy-to-use “journal” of ones thoughts, travels and life events. If you are a regular user of the platform, just imagine the “story” that 20, 30 or 40 years of entries could tell about you or someone you care about and could be passed on to future generations.

When you start thinking about it this way it’s easy to imagine a computer monitor at a funeral offering loved ones the opportunity to review and reflect on someone’s life through their Facebook entries, or perhaps a service that could summarize the entries into a biography.

I found some interesting articles with a different take on how social media can enable a person’s memory to continue on even in their death.

• Facebook Funerals/Memorials by Richard Smith


• Story about online memorials, from a person who lost their brother


• Death on Facebook, National Review


• Postmortum Facebook, The Daily Northwestern

Oh yeah, just click on these links to follow me or Guide to Retirement Living SourceBook on Facebook!

A few weeks ago I had the privilege to attend a drum circle conducted by my friend Alan Yellowitz at Sunrise of Bluemont Park. In all my years of visiting communities I don’t think I have witnessed such a unique activity.

The activity started the moment Alan would start unpacking and setting up his drums. Many of the residents were asking him questions about the drums and he would share information about their design and history.

Once the drum circle started, I moved throughout the community to get different video shots. Everyone I passed in the hallway was either tapping their feet or grooving to the beat.  It was great to glance into an office and see someone working behind a desk bobbing their head to the beat.

I am excited that the community is planning to have Alan come back when some local elementary schools students are visiting. I think it will be truly a memorable experience for the children and the elders!

 

My first entry on this blog was January 16, 2009. Although I am using this to chronicle only specific parts of my life and business, this blog gives me a great way to personally reflect on the events of the year … and what a year it’s been!

Over the years I have left dozens of “hair brained” ideas in my wake. With each of these I have tried to embrace a philosophy of “plan for the worst and expect the best”. Regardless of the outcome, each journey has provided me with a learning experience that could never be replicated in a classroom.

Moving into a senior living community at 43 years old, definitely classified as another “hair brained” idea! As someone who “plans for the worst” I was prepared to return home and “abort my mission” before I even laid my head on the pillow at Paul Spring Retirement Community. However, as someone who “expects the best”, I never dreamed that this “idea” would have led to me moving into 3 different senior living communities in one year!

More importantly, I never imagined how one idea could unlock a completely new perspective in my life and business. As I look back, I now have a dramatically different mindset compared to 12 months ago. Sharing some of this new perspective on this blog, at speaking engagements, business events and backyard barbeques has made me realize that I am not alone in this new way of thinking. It’s validated that every now and then a “hair brained” idea can evolve into a validated concept.

This year has reignited my passion and commitment to serve our elders and people of all ages … because “everyone is aging”! 

 

"Do you know of any retirement communities in the Boston area that do the hotel-type rental?  How would one find out about the possibilities for this type of rental?" 

I have received a few questions like this one lately. Since there is not a formal organization of communities offering this type of stay, here are some ideas if it’s something you are interested in.

• If you need to be somewhere specific, map your location on Google Maps


• Click on the “search nearby” link and type in “retirement community”. This should give you the location of the communities closest to your location.


• If that doesn’t generate a good list, contact the Area Agency on Aging in the region you are visiting and ask them for a list of local communities.  


• You want to focus on independent living retirement communities or continuing care retirement communities first.


• Once you have narrowed it down, your best point of contact will be the marketing department. Ask them if they have a program for guests to stay in their community. If the answer is yes, you may be on your way to a unique hotel stay!


• If its not their standard practice explain why you are interested. Since you are going to their city anyways, see if you could schedule a time to swing by the community on your trip and introduce yourself to the staff and tour the community. As I have stated earlier, I think this type of arrangement is best for travelers that are frequently going to the same location, checking out the location first and meeting staff is smart for everyone.

Definitely not as easy as calling in to book a hotel! Well, as I said before, this is not an idea for every traveler. However, for the right person and the right community it has the possibility to be a trip you will talk about for a long time!

 

I had a brief business meeting that I needed to attend this morning and then I was able to head back to the auditorium to catch the tail end of a fantastic program that links the residents to University of Pennsylvania students. Approximately 25 students from the University of Pennsylvania for whom English is their second language come to The Watermark on a monthly basis. Residents pair off with 1-3 students and they engage in conversation.

The intention of the program is to help the students with their English communication skills – however by the look on the residents’ faces and the enthusiasm of the conversations it’s clearly mutually beneficial. This reiterates that sometimes the best thing we can “do” for our elders (or anyone for that matter) is not necessarily to “do” things for them, instead provide opportunities where they can “do” things for someone else. I have seen first hand how much elders have been able to "do" for me in my travels!

When the program finished the “instructor” had quite a challenge getting the students to stop talking and get them to the bus back to U. Penn. Several of the students brought their cameras and were eager to get pictures with the residents.

 

I headed up to Philadelphia early this morning on Amtrak and arrived at my “hotel” The Watermark at Logan Square. I never noticed that the front desk of this community looks like it could be in a hotel! Each of my “immersion projects” in senior living communities seems to expose just how detached I have been from the details of my surroundings.

After a business meeting I was able to enjoy cheese steak in the dining room and attend a lecture with the residents in the auditorium. Several people asked me if I was there getting “my eyes worked on”. I learned that The Watermark has a program for people recovering from eye surgery at the Wills Eyes Institute . Combined with the fact that their company slogan is UN Retirement Living, I figure this is a pretty good place to explore some “everyone is aging” thinking!

Many times when I am traveling alone I am either stuck eating at the hotel bar having small talk with the bartender, or eating alone in my room. While I could have done either of these things tonight, it was great to be welcomed to dine with 4 people in a resturant that I have never met before. In addition to their good stories and curiousity about me and my life, they shared with me some impressive programs that they have participated in that link them to youth programs and schools. It would be pretty difficult to replicate this day in a hotel.

Here is a little video I made at the end of my day – definitely going to sleep well tonight!

 

I have been getting a lot of great feedback on the concept of senior living communities opening their doors to travelers! I feel pretty good about stumbling into a concept with such a positive response. Here are a few thoughts and ideas:

Good for economic reasons: Many communities around the country are having occupancy problems due to the challenging real estate market. Several people commented that the studio apartments, which many times are the most difficult for a community to rent to a resident might be ideal for travelers.

Good to share wisdom and connect the residents: Most people I have communicated with about this concept really support the mutual benefit of connecting travelers to residents. This has multiple benefits in addition to giving the community an “ageless” culture.

A great way to "test drive" a retirement community: Let’s face it, most people are a bit intimidated about making the move to a senior living community. If a community that you are interested had a "hotel" program, it could be a great way to get a taste of the community … who knows maybe your kids or grandkids might stay with you too!

It’s better than a hotel: I have discovered first hand that these communities are better neighborhoods that the ones I have lived in through my lifetime. There is no question that they have many features that make them better than the hotels I have stayed in. However, the best benefit is the people that live and work in these neighborhoods - even a traveller passing through for the night has the opportunity to experience the benefits.

I have several friends that take regular business trips out of town and end up staying in the same hotel  in the same city each time. They feel lucky if the bartender is the same and remembers who they are. Imagine the relationships that could be formed if they made their stay at a retirement community instead! It would take a traveler with the right mindset, but they would be rewarded tremendously.

Tomorrow I head up to The Watermark at Logan Square to play around with the concept a bit. As always I will try to share my thoughts and insights.

 

I have a business trip to Philadelphia planned for next week. Before I could book my hotel room the management at The Watermark at Logan Square invited me to "check in" to their Continuing Care Retirement Community instead.

I have worked hard to make all my moves into other senior living communities as authentic as possible. Although they are temporary moves, I have taken a lot of effort to put myself in a position to feel what it would be like to a permanent resident. I was very concerned that checking into a community as though it was a hotel would not be in alignment with my overall goals.

However, as I thought about it a bit more I began imagine how senior living communities might open their doors to a select group of travelers and deliver benefits to the residents and travelers.

I have some creative ideas on how this might be executed, but I will save those for future posts. My plan is to do a “mini-immersion” on this trip, I will reflect on the travel concept, but I will also be spending a time experiencing the community as if I was a resident.

Stay tuned I will "check in" on Tues, Nov. 18. As always feel free to hit me up with questions, comments, or challenges!

 

I had nice conversation the other day with Cindy Griffiths-Novak the owner of The Belvedere Assisted Living, the pioneering assisted living residence that was host to a minor league baseball player this summer.

I was pleased to learn the Cindy is a follower of this blog, and when I asked her if she was planning to host another ball player next season, she replied that some of our postings have inspired her to think about other people or groups that might make ideal "non-traditional" residents. She said that the residents are very excited, especially since the experience with Josh were so positive.

As Cindy started the process of applying to be a host family, she stated “I was a little skeptical. I was concerned about who are we were bringing into the community and the safety of the residents”. She shared that of her thoughts were quelled by the Lake Erie Crushers management and how much screening they do for their host families and players. The Crushers instill in the players how important their behavior is in the community on and off the field. “The safety of our residents in my primary concern.”

Cindy stated, “I really wanted a married player because I figured it would minimize the potential of a wild single ball player disrupting the community.”

Cindy said that Josh and his wife really embraced the situation. “I don’t know a lot of young people that honor and respect elders like Josh did. He is a really smart kid and is the cream of the crop. It was his sensitivity and the way he was raised that made it a great experience.”

In the end, the experience exceeded everything Cindy ever imagined. “Baseball is as intergenerational as it gets.”

“We called Josh the rock star because the residents would gather around him anytime he was in the community. However, when Josh was in his apartment the residents and staff honored his privacy and gave him his downtime.”

Cindy has worked in senior living and long term care for many years, in addition to The Belvedere, her family has owns several long-term care centers. Over the years Cindy has been frustrated at all the negative stories in the media surrounding the long-term care industry, “It has always been my goal to try and get some of the positive stories out there.”

Cindy had some more great news; she just found out that Ohio Assisted Living Association will be presenting her with an award at their annual conference this year. 

I am honored to have made the connection to Cindy. With her passion and leadership, I am confident that there will be many more positive stories coming out of The Belvedere in the future!

 

You might be getting tired of all my references to Josh Faiola(pictured here with the Cindy Griffiths-Novak and her family, the owners of The Belvedere Assisted Living) on this blog! I truly feel that there are so many valuable lessons to learn by reflecting on this story. I have had the good fortune of communicating with Josh after watching the ESPN broadcast on this unique host family. He clearly is an exceptional young man and serves an a fantastic role model for a great program.

What was your first thought when you found out your “host family” was an assisted living community?

Josh: My inital joke to my wife was that they must have thought I still needed rehab for my shoulder surgery.  She said it was because I listed "playing cards" as one of my hobbies.  In all seriousness though, I was definitely surprised to hear that because I had never heard of that happening before.  Most host families have kids and you’re in a basement or a spare bedroom so this was certainly an exception to that stereotype.  I was excited though because I knew it would be another experience that I would have never had without baseball.

 

How did the actual experience confirm or change your perceptions?

Josh: I would definitely have to say that I assumed the facility itself was going to feel like you were in a hospital and I was more than pleasantly suprised when I saw that was not even close to the feeling you get when you are in The Belvedere.  It feels like each room is a little condo and every room has a porch light above the door.  Most of the rooms even have little "porches" outside the front door where they have rocking chairs and benches.  The food there was also a lot better than I expected it would be.  The cooks work hard to put out a good variation of meals for the residents and I definitely enjoyed that while I was there.  I felt like it was going to be hard for me to not feel like an intruder no matter what they said but that wasn’t even close to the truth.  The residents and staff were more than welcoming and made me feel like I was a part of their community.

 

Do you have any thoughts about the concept of young people living in senior living communities?

Josh: I think that it would be a great idea as long as those young people realized what an interesting situation and opportunity it would be for them.  If someone was just looking for a place to live and not inteact, then they shouldn’t live in a senior community because they wouldn’t really get the full effect.  It’s the people who live and work at these places that make them such a fun place to be.  I do think that there was a positive impact on the residents of the Belvedere from having a young person around.  It was another way of expanding their lives and horizons outside of the confines of the Belvedere and anytime you can do that it is a good thing.  It’s a good thing for all of us.

What is your fondest memory from living at The Belvedere?

Josh: I’ve gotten that question numerous times and I just can’t put my finger on one single thing.  I enjoyed getting to know each of the residents and learning about their lives.  Watching the show, I found myself smiling when they showed the residents doing their various things.  I feel like I have a fond memory with each of the residents and the staff there which makes it hard to choose just one.  The overall experience was awesome and something that I’ll always cherish.

How did you perceive the residents felt about having a younger person in their “age restricted” environment?

Josh: Like I said before, I feel like the residents enjoyed having a younger person there.  I think there’s some enjoyment just from having a new person move into the facility but to also have that person be such a different demographic made it even more interesting.  I hope that it brought them back to fond memories of their younger days because they all led such interesting lives.

How do you feel your host family setting provided a different experience than your teammates in a more traditional setting?

Josh: I feel like the main difference between the experience of my host family setting and the traditional setting mostly lies in the number of people that I was able to come to know there.  Even in a traditional setting, you gain great friendships with your host family, it’s just that my host family had about 30-40 more people than normal thanks to  the residents, staff, and my main host family, Steve, Cindy, Ellie, and Zack.  Also, I might have learned a few more life lessons in my situation than I would have in a standard situation because I basically had 30 grandparents while I was there and we all know that as long as you’re willing to listen, you’ll always learn something from your grandparents.

Do you think this is something that should be replicated and repeated in other teams and settings?

Josh: I definitely think that this is something that should be replicated.  I’ve actually heard of a couple other guys who’ve done this too but apparently didn’t get nearly as much press as our story received.  It’s a situation that anyone running a team or having a similar need should explore when trying to place a person in temporary housing.

I read that you are working as a teacher, have you thought about ways you might integrate elders or senior living into your classroom?

Josh: I’m actually just a substitute teacher so I don’t get much say in what I do in the classroom.  It’s a cool idea that teachers should try to explore though.