Everyone is Aging Blog

As I have mentioned, the other communities I have stayed in were independent and assisted living and my accommodations included a full bathroom and kitchen. At first glance my room at Keswick seemed to be equal to most hotels I have stayed in. As I was unpacking my toothbrush in the bathroom, I realized that I didn’t have a shower!

This shouldn’t have been a surprise, because I have been to many nursing homes in my career and very few have rooms with private baths or showers. However, I didn’t bring a robe or anything to cover up on my morning march down the hall! Almost like clockwork a staff member arrived at my room with a gown and toiletries for my stay – like I said it’s a little like a 5 star hotel.

In the morning I headed down the hall for the shower. It was a huge shower with plenty of room, no barriers to entry and the ability to adjust the shower spray in any direction imaginable. If I wasn’t in a hurry, I could have spent a lot more time there. I am a huge proponent of Universal Design, while it might not be feasible for showers and bathrooms to be this large, they should all strive to be accessible. It makes it easier for those with all abilities.

It would be easy to take a negative viewpoint on the experience of having to walk down the hall to take a shower.  However, I have stayed in a few upscale bed and breakfasts where I had to do the same thing.

I know that there are some models of care that are focusing on private baths, and I can see how this will be a great benefit to residents, especially those living in these communities long-term.

 

I arrived at Keswick Multi-Care Center this afternoon. This community offers assisted living and nursing care, so I was pleasantly surprised that I would be staying in a skilled nursing room tonight! All of my stays up to this point have been in Independent or Assisted Living apartments so I am excited to say that I have now stayed in the full continuum of care!

I was greeted and shown to my room (Room #G10). Along the way I was introduced to a few staff members. I am staying in a section of the community where most residents are receiving rehab services.

I arrived a little late, but I was able to get dinner in the dining room and talk to a few residents and staff. I have had so many staff ask me if I need anything that I would swear I was staying in a 5 Star Hotel! The difference is that in most hotels everyone is anonymous, in these halls everyone knows each other and refers to each other by name.

I guess it feels a bit like a cross between the Ritz Carlton and my college dorm staying here. I kind of like keeping my door open and hearing the activity in the hallway!

Per my usual, here is a video to check out my “digs” for the night! 

 

This Friday I will be serving as the moderator for the Keswick Multi-Care’s Board of Directors’ annual retreat. Once again I caught myself in a situation where I was getting ready to book a hotel and I realized a more appropriate lodging situation would be in a senior living community.

I was delighted that Keswick had an available room for me; I feel the experience will only enhance my perspective as a moderator for their retreat.

I won’t be the first person to “break the age barrier” at Keswick. The community recently hosted an architect involved in the “Sleepover Project” that have I written about quite a bit on this blog and was featured at one of our ProAging meetings.

I look forward another enlightening experience, check back for some postings.

 

One of the pioneers in Senior Move Management, Margit Novak, President of Moving Solutions, (pictured below far left) shared the following personal story that integrates the importance of "purpose" and the concept of "staycations" in retirement communities which presents another great way to explore the hotel/retirement community concept.

Several months ago, I participated in a program on the emotions of downsizing.  Held at a nearby retirement community, the program included a panel of three community residents:  a resident of many years who had become widowed while living at the community, a wife who had moved with her husband a few years earlier, and a widow who had moved in a few months earlier.  Two of the panel members had lived nearby; one moved from another state to be near family.

One by one, the panel members described their experience of living in the community, what they had expected and what they found.  They described what a typical day was like, what they valued in the community, and how they felt about their decision to move.  They talked about a sense of purpose, of meeting new friends, of learning new things.

No one on the panel talked about the home they had left, about missing a 2-car garage, a large kitchen or a formal dining room.  No one said that closet space at their new apartment was inadequate, that they lacked privacy or felt they were “over-programmed.”

Then members of the audience spoke about what brought them to the program on downsizing.  They described their concerns about leaving their home and living in a community setting.  They talked about their reluctance to give up their garden, formal dining room or extra bedrooms for when grandchildren visit.  They talked about their concern that they would move and then be unhappy.

No one in the audience said their life had become smaller as friends moved, became ill or passed away.  No one talked about what it was like to eat meals alone, or the things they didn’t do because they lacked transportation, inclination or company.  No one talked about boredom, or depression or a sense of fatigue from the demands of maintaining a large home.

 

And then it struck me, that these people weren’t speaking the same language.  The things that made life in the retirement community meaningful, that gave residents a sense of purpose, weren’t even on the radar screen of the people who still lived in their homes.          I wondered how to connect their vocabulary, so they could understand what each was saying.  I wasn’t sure words could even suffice. Perhaps it is something that must be experienced.

I got a partial answer when a Marketing Director at a community described a “Staycation” program she had recently hosted.  Prospective residents were invited to spend three days at the community.  The Marketing Director surveyed each guest to learn about their interests, and custom-designed an itinerary for each person that included busy days and the company of resident-hosts.  At the end of the three days, more than half of the guests became serious prospects and initiated the move-in process.  “I thought I would be giving things up,” one woman commented.  “Instead, our lives would be fuller.”

As someone who spends time both in people’s homes and in retirement communities, I admit, I have a bias.  Virtually every client I meet after their move to a retirement community says, “I should have done this years ago.”  But they don’t chat for long.  They are busy going somewhere, doing something. They are busy thriving.