Everyone is Aging Blog

“The generation gap is an immensely misleading term. It implies that people from different generations are inherently different whereas people within a generation are inherently similar.”

This quote is from a University of Michigan student, and is just one of the good “nuggets” from the book Aging Awakenings: Assisted Living Residents Teach University Students to Overcome Ageism by Richard C. Adelman, Ph.D. which details the thoughts, ideas, and transitions of students and residents involved in an innovative program that engages college students and the residents of a senior living community.

The book details a research project that studied the thoughts and views of over 60 students at the University of Michigan. The project first had students share their thoughts on aging, which not surprisingly revealed a bias towards stereotypes that most of the elderly have cognitive and physical challenges, and that the majority of the elderly have conservative and stubborn mindsets, etc. Then each of the students engaged in a year long program where they were matched up with residents of University Living.

At the end of the program it was fairly conclusive that the experience debunked the majority of the previously held stereotypes. Every student that previously regarded the elderly as conservative, or felt that the elderly did not have the ability to learn new things before they entered the program had discarded those viewpoints at the end.

What’s’ even more exciting is the new things that the student learned from their relationships in the senior community. They overwhelmingly reported that they admired the elder’s skills in conflict resolution, their insights on death, and to many students a big surprise was that they found their insights on love and sex tremendously helpful.

I found many of the insights in this book in alignment with my own experiences in senior living communities and many of the thoughts that we discuss on this blog. Armed with the mindset that “everyone is aging”, it will be exciting to see how the students that participated in this program can help change the world and views of aging. Lets hope that programs like this will soon be required courses on campuses across the county – and imagine the all the great engagement with elders that can take place if that happens.

I highly recommend this book to staff and management of senior living communities, it should help them think differently about the value of the residents and an example of engagement with the community in a positive way.

Click here to order the book

 

I have been legally blind in one eye since birth. This summer I became totally blind in that eye due to a cataract. Since I have never had clear vision I didn’t think it would effect me that much, but it has. Because of my unique situation my Ophthalmologist was hesitant to perform surgery.

Last week I traveled to a premier medical center for an appointment with a doctor that has a lot of experience with difficult cataracts. The first “funny” thing that happened was what I saw when I walked into the medical center. If I didn’t know I was in a hospital I would swear that I had just walked into a bank lobby. It truly looked like they were able to get a deal on furniture and fixtures from a failing bank!

After completing enough paperwork and searches on my insurance to qualify for a fixed rate jumbo loan I headed up for my exam.

I was pleased to see a copy of AARP magazine in the waiting room. Since I am 44 years old, I can’t technically join AARP, therefore my only opportunity to read the magazine is at my in-laws house or in the doctor’s office. That’s the second "funny" thing, that the publisher of a "retirement" magazine and a guy that has spend several weeks in senior living communities doesnt get a subscription to AARP.

The editors note in the February issue was great, Nancy Perry Graham introduced me to the term, “chronological racism” when telling a story about her AARP colleagues attending a Springsteen concert wearing their AARP tee shirts. Ironically, I can accuse AARP of chronological racism by not letting someone like me (under 50) join their group!   It’s a shame because the articles and resources are really good no matter what your age.

So how does all this tie into the blog? This issue also featured an article on 10 individuals who inspire to make the world a better place. I am pleased that they featured Brenda Krause Eheart, the founder of Hope Meadows which is one of the Everyone Is Aging Honor Roll members.

Oh, almost forgot to mention, my surgery is scheduled for March 10th!

Lyman Orton recently made a great comment on blog entry #99  related to a retirement community in Florida that is evicting a young girl due to the communities covenants.

Lyman says "It seems clear, and logical, that Kimberly’s well being is best served by remaining with her grandparents, not to be evicted and be forced to live with strangers (foster parents)when she has loving and competent blood relatives who have cared for her most of her life."

I completely agree, and this is a great time to share a video of a community that addresses all of these issues in a positive manner. Its called Hope Meadows and it combines foster children, families and elders together instead of separating them.  From their website:

Hope Meadows is a place where children, adoptive parents and surrogate grandparents develop supportive relationships capable of healing the hurts of abuse and neglect - a place where three generations care for and learn from each other. 

 

Of course, all of the people in favor of Kimberly leaving that are living in the Florida retirement community might prefer that "strangers" are caring for them in their own time of need, as opposed to capable  family or friends.

I do a lot of pondering on this blog about how we can create communities that accept and take care of all ages as an alternative to segregating by age. Take a look at this Today Show video clip to see the alternative that we are living with in countless communities across the country.

This is a great opportunity for the homeowners association and any governing bodies that seem to be attached this legalized form of segregation to broaden the definition of this community by allowing an exception(s).

I wonder if Kimberly Broffman is really a problem to the community? Does she make too much noise playing by herself outside? I wonder how many other residents watch her and wish they could have their grandchildren living with them too?

I am concerned that if this “law” is enforced in the favor of the community it can really continue to move us away from equality and will just promote ageism. This situation is ripe for some creative thinking and a positive solution!