Everyone is Aging Blog

I had never heard of the term “Elder Orphans” until recently. There are about 10 million seniors in the U.S. who live alone. Most still have family members, but about 15 percent of seniors who need care have no family support. Even if that percentage remains constant, the sheer number of elder orphans will grow thanks to the massive changes in our population.

Yesterday I heard an interesting program on NPR related to adoption. Scott Simon recounted the challenges of adopting a child in this country if you are “older”.  He detailed how “older people” might have an easier time adopting a foster child.  This has led many to adopt children overseas. 

This Interesting generational parallel made me reflect on the similarities between Elder Orphans and Foster Children and the connections that we should all be making with both.  One of my favorite examples that integrate both is the Hope Meadows Community This community integrates elders with families and foster children to create a intentional supportive neighborhood.

It’s been estimated that nearly 60% of nursing home residents don’t have anyone visiting them each year. There are programs in many regions around the country that visit residents of nursing homes who don’t have families.  We need more of these programs especially with a focus on helping develop meaningful relationships for the residents and not just “visiting” elders.

 

The other day I learned that a senior apartment building in Northern Virginia, The Marque at Heritage Hunt  had lifted its age restriction.  I spoke with the manager last week and it seems that the primary motivator for this change centered on financing issues that made it more beneficial to make the shift a traditional apartment building.

To my knowledge, this is the first community in the mid-Atlantic region to make a transition like this in my 20 year career, so I am extremely curious to see how this story plays out.

The community has never reached full occupancy, but they do report more inquiries after the change.  Although the first 14 month old child will soon be living in the building, I doubt that there will be an influx of families with children lining up to move in, but you never know. I am very interested in how young families and elders will benefit from this change or complexities that arise in the community.

I actually think that this community will have an easier time attracting the type of resident that they have been targeting since their opening.  I feel that one of the best ways to market a community for seniors is not to have a sign in front that says it’s exclusively for seniors! 

A transition like this may be a bit challenging, after all the existing residents bought into the concept of age restrictions when they moved in.  There is sure to be some anxiety in some peoples minds that opening their doors to younger people will dramatically change the community.

I hope to follow the story of this community on this blog. What are your thoughts on this change? Would you like to see this in other communities?

Photo credit: L. Roger Turner an entry in the 2004 Generations United photo contest, click here for more information Generations United and their annual photo contest.

I was delighted to hear from Cindy Griffiths-Novak, my favorite assisted living operator today!

Cindy shares that her assisted living community, The Belvedere Assisted Living in Westlake, Ohio will be hosting another player this year, Joel Collins, a Lake Erie Crusher’s catcher.

Cindy also reports that there are now four other assisted living facilities in the area that are hosting minor league players as well. She states, “It’s a win/win for residents, families and the players!!”

Let’s hope this is a trend that continues!!

Read my previous posts about this topic 

 

Ever since I learned about the concept of cohousing, I felt that it could truly be a wonderful “solution” for “aging” solutions.

If you don’t know what Cohousing is, here is a definition from Cohousing Association:

Cohousing residents are consciously committed to living as a community. The physical design encourages both social contact and individual space. Private homes contain all the features of conventional homes, but residents also have access to extensive common facilities such as open space, courtyards, a playground and a common house.

Sounds pretty good? If we live in neighborhoods where we know and take care of each other, it reduces our need to rely on traditional “aging services” for support.

Last weekend I attended the Mid Atlantic Cohousing Conference at University of Maryland. The dialogue at the conference confirmed I am definitely not alone in my thinking about cohousing; one of the fastest growing segments in this housing market niche is “seniors cohousing”.

However, I went to the conference with somewhat of a mindset against seniors cohousing, my thought was a neighborhood that didn’t segregate by age would be the best environment to celebrate and utilize the wisdom and resources of elders.

That all changed when I heard Dene Peterson speak about Elderspirit, a cohousing community she founded in southwest Virginia. Dene had great energy and countless lessons to share in developing this unique and vibrant community.  One of the best things I took away from her presentation was how living in a cohousing community required “work” which helps provides a sense of purpose for all the residents.  This I feel tends to the exact opposite of the perception of senior housing, most people view our current models focus on “not working” and letting everyone do things for you. 

I hope that we begin to see more ways of blending this “spirit” into traditional senior housing settings!

“The generation gap is an immensely misleading term. It implies that people from different generations are inherently different whereas people within a generation are inherently similar.”

This quote is from a University of Michigan student, and is just one of the good “nuggets” from the book Aging Awakenings: Assisted Living Residents Teach University Students to Overcome Ageism by Richard C. Adelman, Ph.D. which details the thoughts, ideas, and transitions of students and residents involved in an innovative program that engages college students and the residents of a senior living community.

The book details a research project that studied the thoughts and views of over 60 students at the University of Michigan. The project first had students share their thoughts on aging, which not surprisingly revealed a bias towards stereotypes that most of the elderly have cognitive and physical challenges, and that the majority of the elderly have conservative and stubborn mindsets, etc. Then each of the students engaged in a year long program where they were matched up with residents of University Living.

At the end of the program it was fairly conclusive that the experience debunked the majority of the previously held stereotypes. Every student that previously regarded the elderly as conservative, or felt that the elderly did not have the ability to learn new things before they entered the program had discarded those viewpoints at the end.

What’s’ even more exciting is the new things that the student learned from their relationships in the senior community. They overwhelmingly reported that they admired the elder’s skills in conflict resolution, their insights on death, and to many students a big surprise was that they found their insights on love and sex tremendously helpful.

I found many of the insights in this book in alignment with my own experiences in senior living communities and many of the thoughts that we discuss on this blog. Armed with the mindset that “everyone is aging”, it will be exciting to see how the students that participated in this program can help change the world and views of aging. Lets hope that programs like this will soon be required courses on campuses across the county – and imagine the all the great engagement with elders that can take place if that happens.

I highly recommend this book to staff and management of senior living communities, it should help them think differently about the value of the residents and an example of engagement with the community in a positive way.

Click here to order the book

 

I have been legally blind in one eye since birth. This summer I became totally blind in that eye due to a cataract. Since I have never had clear vision I didn’t think it would effect me that much, but it has. Because of my unique situation my Ophthalmologist was hesitant to perform surgery.

Last week I traveled to a premier medical center for an appointment with a doctor that has a lot of experience with difficult cataracts. The first “funny” thing that happened was what I saw when I walked into the medical center. If I didn’t know I was in a hospital I would swear that I had just walked into a bank lobby. It truly looked like they were able to get a deal on furniture and fixtures from a failing bank!

After completing enough paperwork and searches on my insurance to qualify for a fixed rate jumbo loan I headed up for my exam.

I was pleased to see a copy of AARP magazine in the waiting room. Since I am 44 years old, I can’t technically join AARP, therefore my only opportunity to read the magazine is at my in-laws house or in the doctor’s office. That’s the second "funny" thing, that the publisher of a "retirement" magazine and a guy that has spend several weeks in senior living communities doesnt get a subscription to AARP.

The editors note in the February issue was great, Nancy Perry Graham introduced me to the term, “chronological racism” when telling a story about her AARP colleagues attending a Springsteen concert wearing their AARP tee shirts. Ironically, I can accuse AARP of chronological racism by not letting someone like me (under 50) join their group!   It’s a shame because the articles and resources are really good no matter what your age.

So how does all this tie into the blog? This issue also featured an article on 10 individuals who inspire to make the world a better place. I am pleased that they featured Brenda Krause Eheart, the founder of Hope Meadows which is one of the Everyone Is Aging Honor Roll members.

Oh, almost forgot to mention, my surgery is scheduled for March 10th!

Lyman Orton recently made a great comment on blog entry #99  related to a retirement community in Florida that is evicting a young girl due to the communities covenants.

Lyman says "It seems clear, and logical, that Kimberly’s well being is best served by remaining with her grandparents, not to be evicted and be forced to live with strangers (foster parents)when she has loving and competent blood relatives who have cared for her most of her life."

I completely agree, and this is a great time to share a video of a community that addresses all of these issues in a positive manner. Its called Hope Meadows and it combines foster children, families and elders together instead of separating them.  From their website:

Hope Meadows is a place where children, adoptive parents and surrogate grandparents develop supportive relationships capable of healing the hurts of abuse and neglect - a place where three generations care for and learn from each other. 

 

Of course, all of the people in favor of Kimberly leaving that are living in the Florida retirement community might prefer that "strangers" are caring for them in their own time of need, as opposed to capable  family or friends.

I do a lot of pondering on this blog about how we can create communities that accept and take care of all ages as an alternative to segregating by age. Take a look at this Today Show video clip to see the alternative that we are living with in countless communities across the country.

This is a great opportunity for the homeowners association and any governing bodies that seem to be attached this legalized form of segregation to broaden the definition of this community by allowing an exception(s).

I wonder if Kimberly Broffman is really a problem to the community? Does she make too much noise playing by herself outside? I wonder how many other residents watch her and wish they could have their grandchildren living with them too?

I am concerned that if this “law” is enforced in the favor of the community it can really continue to move us away from equality and will just promote ageism. This situation is ripe for some creative thinking and a positive solution!