1. Listen.
2. Offer encouragement.
3. Help out.
4. Create a gift certificate that gives the caregiver six 20-minute venting sessions.
5. Find funny and encouraging greeting cards, and send one to the caregiver every month.
6. Use the personalized gift certificate to volunteer for a regular household task.
7. Buy a caregiver a gift certificate to a spa.

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Residents of the assisted living community Byron House worked together throughout 2011 to knit scarves and hats for families in Montgomery County.

In a collaborative effort, the community made 100 baby bonnets and scarves for infants and toddlers.   While residents were responsible for knitting and crocheting the squares, family members and staff finished the job sewing them into beautiful bonnets and scarves.  Individuals in the greater community were also invited to join in the cause by donating yarn.

Sharon Borowiec, director of Byron House, which is part of the nonprofit organization Victory Housing, said, “My residents are very excited to be able to make this generous donation.”

All of the garments were presented on November 10th to Family Services Inc., one of Maryland’s oldest and most experienced nonprofit social services organizations.  Established in 1908, Family Services serves and supports many of the most vulnerable families in Montgomery County.   Director of Marketing & Communication, Wendy Enderson, said she was “extremely delighted to receive such a charitable donation from the seniors, ages 69-99, who worked tirelessly to make sure that little heads and necks would be kept warm this winter.”

Having received her Masters in Education from the University of Virginia, she taught elementary-age children for several years.  Elizabeth said she enjoyed interacting with the young minds and playing a role in the development of their sense of self.  Aside from teaching, she was involved with Habitat for Humanity and could often be seen working at food distribution centers for the less fortunate.  

In her 40 years of marriage, Elizabeth had three children. While pursuing her career and raising her family, the avid pastel and oil painter managed to attend and participate in many art shows.  “Art was a passion and in my years after retirement, I enjoyed painting almost daily,” she said.

As time passed, the grandmother of two found herself needing some assistance in order to remain in her home.  “The best solution was to find a way to maintain a similar quality of life standard within my own home environment,” said Elizabeth.  “Security and help with everyday chores, laundry, meal preparation, etc. was also paramount.”

When her children stepped in to help, they looked online to compare different home care companies and ultimately chose Lighthouse Healthcare, Inc. 

“We chose them because they are locally owned and operated,” said Elizabeth’s son, Dan.  Also important for the family was the fact that the company was not advertising ‘on the job training.’ 

“The Director of Private Duty Services, Tracey Domzalski could not have been more accommodating,” said Dan.  “Her sincerity and understanding of what our family was dealing with was very important.”

The entire family has agreed the care Elizabeth receives has been excellent.  According to Dan, her caregiver is compassionate, cooperative and thorough.

“Without the assistance of Lighthouse, we are not certain what options would have been available,” he said.  “Independence has been maintained and it has allowed my mom to stay in her home.”

For Dan and the rest of the family, this care has provided them peace of mind as their worries about falls and nutrition have been eliminated.  Most importantly, he said Elizabeth has found a companion with whom she has a mutual trust and respect. 

“They have made a difficult situation a tolerable, positive experience,” he said.

You’ve made your decision: although you’re eligible to collect Social Security payments, you’re going to keep working and delay receiving your retirement benefits.

But don’t forget about Medicare.

Even if you decide to wait until after you are age 65 to apply for retirement benefits, most people should apply for Medicare coverage at age 65. If you’d like to begin your Medicare coverage, you should apply within four months of reaching age 65.

There’s a fast, convenient, and simple way to apply online for Medicare in as little as 10 minutes — even if you’re not ready to receive retirement benefits. Just visit www.socialsecurity.gov/medicareonly.

At the website, you’ll find more than just the online Medicare application. You’ll also find information about Medicare, and have the opportunity to watch a short, fun video reuniting the cast of The Patty Duke Show to tell you about the ease and convenience of filing for Medicare online.

It’s important to note that people who already receive Social Security retirement or disability benefits do not need to apply for Medicare; they will be automatically enrolled.

There is no additional charge for Medicare hospital insurance (Part A) since you already paid for it by working and paying Medicare tax.  But there is a monthly premium for medical insurance (Part B). If you already have other health insurance when you become eligible for Medicare, you should consider whether you want to apply for the medical insurance. You may want to consult with an insurance specialist. To learn more about this and other Medicare considerations, read our online publication, Medicare, at www.socialsecurity.gov/pubs/10043.html.

Mr. McConnell is the Deputy Area Director for the Washington, D.C. Metropolitan Area which serves a complex of 16 offices in the District of Columbia, suburban Maryland, Northern Virginia, and the eastern panhandle of West Virginia.

“This community is filled with interesting people who have lived all over the world.  The stories here are amazing,” said Reverend Dr. James (“Jim”) Macdonell while sitting alongside his wife, Nancy, in their spacious apartment at Ingleside at King Farm in Rockville, Md. 

Jim, however, has a few interesting stories to share himself.  The noted cartoonist and artist was an organizing pastor at Saint Mark Presbyterian Church in Bethesda in the 1960s, which put him in the center of the Civil Rights movement.  In fact, he was directly involved in the historic 1963 March on Washington where Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered his infamous speech.  He was also among the first to respond to Dr. King’s request for American clergy members to march in Selma, Al. 

It was Nancy’s background, though, that led them to begin researching senior living communities. “My parents had signed up for a retirement community in Kansas 15 years before they actually moved,” she said. “When they did, my mother had dementia and osteoporosis and just wasn’t in any shape to do anything; my Dad was, but he was taking care of her.”

As a result, the Macdonells knew not to put off their decision since they wanted the time to be active and enjoy themselves when they moved. 

Fortunately, Jim’s role as a pastor had enabled him to visit several communities in the Washington, D.C. area.  The couple’s main priority was to focus their search only on those that could offer a full range of healthcare services, from independent living to skilled nursing care, onsite.  “It just did not make any sense not to move to a place that didn’t offer continuing care,” said Jim.

As they reviewed their options, it was Ingleside at King Farm, a nonprofit community under development at the time that made the top of their list.

Although Jim and Nancy Macdonell have a weekend cottage in Shepherdstown, WV, they are often anxious to return to Ingleside at King Farm, a retirement community where they have established new friendships and are maintaining busy schedules.

“We would be close to the Metro and there are some good stores here within walking distance,” said Jim. King Farm’s convenient location would also enable them to remain connected to the greater community and their outside interests while being an hour-drive from their weekend cottage in Shepherdstown, WV. 

Without hesitation, the grandparents-of-eight signed up and selected their apartment.  “We watched the whole building go up and it was fun to watch,” said Jim.  This gave the couple time to ease into the downsizing process, and with the help of a senior move manager, they moved in with boxes gone, pictures hung and the bed made.

Now fully settled in at King Farm, the Macdonells could not be happier.  As Jim said, “It is literally like going on a cruise without a ship, because it’s so fun.  The services are great and they take very good care of us.” 

In addition to having a staff that is flexible and focused on residents’ needs, the couple has enjoyed establishing new friendships and maintaining a busy schedule.  With a fitness center, indoor heated pool, dance classes, creative writing workshops, beautiful walking grounds, movies and a library, there is never a dull moment for individuals at King Farm.

While Nancy continues working, the couple also finds time to attend the community trips to Strathmore Hall and the Kennedy Center.  No matter their outside pursuits, however, there really is no place like King Farm for the Macdonells, where they enjoy living in the moment and having peace of mind for their future. 

“When we go on a trip, we’re anxious to come home.  This is home,” said Jim.

Elizabeth “Liz” Quinlan is a native of Hagerstown, Md. who received her Nursing degrees from Cornell University and University of Pennsylvania.  During the Korean War she joined the Air Force as a nurse at Shepherd Air Force Base, where she met New Jersey native Jerry. Although they met in 1952, the couple did not get married until 1968.  Liz recounted the story of when the “romance got started.”

“Both my parents were very ill and, since my father was born in Greece, Jerry came up on Greek Easter with this beautiful tray of all these food specialties he’d gotten at a Greek restaurant in Washington,” she said.  “He was so kind and he said, ‘You know, Liz, I know both your parents have been ill and you’re tied down.  I’ll look after them this afternoon and you can go and visit some friends or whatever you want to do.’  Of course I didn’t go, but I was just sort of overwhelmed that anybody would be that kind. And that’s really the essence of Jerry, that he’s always been so kind to everybody.”

After they married, the couple settled down to focus on their careers, hobbies and travels.  Several years into their retirement, Liz noticed Jerry’s behavior started becoming slightly erratic.  It was particularly evident the day Jerry approached her and asked how she felt about giving up their car.  Actually grateful since it left them with unnecessary expenses, she told him that would be fine.  Then according to Liz, Jerry responded saying, “Well I think I’m going to do it because I get lost coming home.”

Similar incidents led the couple to see a physician.  When the diagnosis revealed Jerry had dementia, Liz made sure to help and care for him at home.   “I really wasn’t able to talk about it,” she said.

"The essence of Jerry is that he's always been so kind to everybody," said Elizabeth Quinlan of her husband of 43 years, who was eventually diagnosed with Alzheimer's.

During a trip to the dentist, she found a magazine article describing a drug that helps Alzheimer’s and dementia patients.  Liz then approached the receptionist asking if she could make a copy of it, revealing that Jerry had Alzheimer’s. “When I finally said it, the tears started to come and I couldn’t stop crying,” she said.

That conversation opened the door to her discovering a vast amount of resources at IONA Senior Services.  Liz learned about their renowned Adult Day Health Care Center and support groups, where Jerry thrived and eventually participated five days a week.

As his condition progressed, it was clear that he was going to need more assistance, so Liz began to look at their options.  “The Methodist Home of Washington, D.C. had the best reputation for nursing care, so that was the first place I went,” she said.

At her first meeting, she learned the Methodist Home was building a brand new community in Chevy Chase, D.C. called Forest Side that would be exclusively devoted to Alzheimer’s and memory-related disorders.  After visiting a few other options, she was excited for Jerry to become one of Forest Side’s first residents and filled out an application.

Today, Jerry is in the hands of compassionate caregivers and staff, leaving Liz much more confident about his well-being. The state-of-the-art community features four “neighborhoods” within the building. The focus of the caregiver for each neighborhood at Forest Side is to be engaged with the residents in all aspects of their day, from dining and afternoon teas to activities and neighborhood strolls.

According to Liz, Jerry has “deluxe accommodations” at Forest Side and she was able to bring many of their treasured items to decorate his spacious apartment.  She has also enjoyed spending time with him on her visits in one of the several tastefully-decorated rooms throughout the community.

Although Elizabeth initially cared for Jerry when he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, he eventually needed more assistance, so she moved him to the assisted living community Forest Side, where she is confident about his well-being knowing he is in the hands of compassionate caregivers.

The philosophy at Forest Side is that each resident’s interests are respected and taken into consideration regardless of their cognitive ability.  Alexis McKenzie, the community’s executive director, said, “We look at the likes and dislikes of the resident and do our best to build their life around those preferences. We interview each of the families, like the Quinlans, and we found out that Jerry had written a book.  It is through this time spent with the family and resident that we gain firsthand knowledge of the gifts and talents each individual brings to the table.”

Along with this individualized support, the trained staff understands the challenges of memory loss and has great sensitivity for their residents and families. They encourage and understand each resident, assisting them to make every opportunity as successful as possible.  This care and attention at Forest Side extends beyond just the residents’ needs as Liz has learned during particularly emotional visits.  “When the tears come, the staff will be right there to help and comfort me. They could not be kinder to us,” she said.

Although the challenges they face can be frustrating, Liz shared some words of wisdom for others in this situation.  “When you look around the world, you see the poverty and the problems so many people have. I look at the wonderful care Jerry gets at Forest Side and I think that I’m blessed.”

When asked about her childhood in Ann Arbor, Mich., Helen May will happily recount the fond times she spent with her father, a professor of Industrial Arts at the University of Michigan.  “He played the trumpet,” she beamed.  There is no doubt that her father’s love for music inspired Helen’s lifelong passion for music and the arts. “He was a great influence on my life,” she said.

Today, she in turn shares that passion to also inspire her fellow residents and staff at her current home, Arleigh Burke Pavilion, the assisted living and healthcare residence of Vinson Hall Retirement Community in McLean, Va.

After receiving her Bachelor’s degree in Piano and a Master’s Degree in Music Theory from the University of Michigan, Helen married her high school sweetheart, Don.  “He was very accomplished and brilliant,” she said of the mathematician and scientist.

With a lifelong passion for music, Arleigh Burke Pavilion assisted living resident Helen May was highly involved in the Sigma Alpha Iota international music fraternity through which she met different world-renowned artists, such as Jessye Norman.

Over the years, Helen served as a providence officer with Sigma Alpha Iota, the international music fraternity.  She would travel to different universities to install and support the various chapters.  During one particular visit to Howard University, she met Jessye Norman, who was a charter member. Although Jessye eventually rose to fame as a world-renowned contemporary opera signer and recitalist, the two developed a mentoring relationship that has continued to this day.

“She has the best voice in the world,” said Helen. This is just one of the many relationships she has established and treasured with talented musicians, including renowned child prodigy Carlos César Rodriguez and Ann Schein.

In 1990, Helen celebrated her own milestone as the first recipient of the Sigma Alpha Iota Philanthropies Distinguished Service Award, the organization’s highest honor. In addition, she had the honor of becoming the Founding Chairperson Emeritus of the National Symphony Orchestra Young Soloists Competition, which is held each year at the Kennedy Center.

Helen and Don enjoyed most of their years together in McLean, Va. After his passing in 1999, she briefly moved to a senior living residence which she was quick to add “was not nearly as nice as Arleigh Burke Pavilion.”

When referring to the community she has now lived in for over 10 years, it is evident how much Helen has appreciated the person-centered care she has been offered.

Arleigh Burke was added to Vinson Hall in 1991 to address the increasing needs of its residents and the non-military community, and thus qualified it as a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC).  Though the community opened its doors in 1969, its origins date back to the post-WWII era when there was an evident need to support the widows of sea service veterans with housing and income assistance.  As a result, the Washington Chapter of the Navy Officers Wives Club formed a foundation for raising funds to provide housing. Over time, some of Vinson Hall’s apartments were combined to create larger, 1-2 bedroom units to accommodate couples.

It was this same foundation led to the addition of Arleigh Burke and the community’s third unit, The Sylvestery, which is also open to the non-military community and provides assisted living to individuals with memory impairment.  As residents throughout Vinson Hall enjoy extensive amenities and beautiful surroundings, they look forward to even more changes in the summer of 2014 when 75 new independent living luxury apartment homes will be added along with a new community center featuring a bistro, library, convenience store, auditorium and classrooms.

In addition to these perks and the quality care, what has been particularly important for Helen is the staff’s effort to embrace and celebrate each resident’s unique interests. John Shorty, Arleigh Burke’s social services coordinator, said, “I recognized in Helen a very outstanding woman who had a lot of background in classical music.”

She made such an impression that John invited her to lead a music appreciation group for other residents. “Helen’s life has revolved around music,” he said.

He also learned one of her favorite amenities at the community is its public broadcasting station, Classical WETA 90.9 FM.  “I must confess that it keeps me up late at night, because I get so engrossed in the wonderful music that the hours just fly by,” she said with a smile.

For the staff, Helen could not be more of a perfect fit at Arleigh Burke and the Vinson Hall community.  “She is just constantly out and about at programs that we offer here and she has a wonderful spirit and a zest for life,” said John.

“My advice to others is always get involved and join things,” Helen added.

It is not just the residents, however, that embody this spirit of getting involved.  In coordination with the Wounded Warrior Project, the community will within the next year become one of the few CCRCs in the nation offering Transitional Housing to Wounded Warriors.

With a supportive home that shares her personal philosophy and allows her to inspire others with her love of music, it may be safe to say that for Helen, life at Arleigh Burke has been “like a song.”

 So now you (or your loved one) find yourself stuck at home. How will you buy groceries? Pick up prescriptions? Visit the mall? Get to the doctor’s office?

Transportation is probably the single most important worry faced by those who want to age at home but can no longer drive their own cars. The loss of independence is profound after a lifetime of being able to come and go wherever and whenever you pleased.

Enter drivers: City or county-sponsored discounted services; volunteer drivers from community and religious groups; specially-arranged taxi services – and, increasingly, paid private concierge-type services which provide not just driving, but also companion services.

The obvious advantage of the city-county provided transportation services is that, like volunteers, their services are free or low cost. A problem with these services is that they are relatively inflexible in terms of both pick-up times and destinations. Certain cab companies offer discounts and specially-trained drivers whose vehicles have wheelchair ramps (not lifts). You can buy or rent a wheelchair van. Rentals with drivers cost about $90 per hour. Purchasing a wheelchair van can cost anywhere from $5,000 to $45,000, but finding private van drivers can be difficult.

Concierge companion services will take you wherever you want to go when you want to go, just as if you were getting into your own car and driving yourself. They will take you to your doctor’s office and even sit in with you if you wish them to take notes. They will take you to your hair appointment. They will take you and your pet to the vet or the groomer. Like you, if you were driving yourself, they will make stops to buy a birthday gift for your niece, visit your favorite deli, and fill your prescriptions, while providing educated, warm companionship along the way.

Concierge companion services, such as those of the company I founded in 2005, are an excellent solution for many clients. Such private companies charge from about $40 to $60 per hour. They are not limited merely to providing driving services directed by the client; they provide services from grocery shopping to locating pet walkers and house cleaners for you, to locating and supervising handymen, plumbers and electricians for home maintenance needs, and, for many, sociable companion services to accompany you on your walks around the block or to the opera.

AAA estimates that driving a typical car an average distance per year costs the driver-owner about $7,823 per year. Older individuals tend to use their cars less frequently and over shorter distances, so let’s reduce that average to $5,000 per year. At $50/hr for driving and companion services by a private concierge, two hours of private driving, errand-running and companionship per week for one year would cost only $5,200. With concierge drivers, you have your own chauffeur for just a little more than you paid when you could still drive yourself in your own car.

Excerpt from Buckley’s book, Elder Care: The Road to Growing Old is Not Paved.  Visit theroadtogrowingold.com.

If you walk into the lobby of the Revitz House in Rockville, Maryland on a typical day, you are sure to see many smiling faces and residents rushing to make their next appointment or activity.  What might surprise you, however, is that you are also likely to see a few tails wagging around.  This is due to the fact that the independent living residence located on the campus of the nonprofit Charles E. Smith Life Community wholeheartedly embraces the importance of small pets in residents’ lives.

Guide to Retirement Living SourceBook was able to catch up with two interesting residents who have thrived in the community with a little help from their “best friends.”

Lida Moser
A native New Yorker, Lida Moser exudes energy and has a countless supply of stories of her life in New York City. Although she considers herself “a normal child of immigrants,” she was at the epicenter of the New York art scene for over three decades.  Referred to as a pioneer in photojournalism and a well-respected photographer, Lida has travelled the world for Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar and many other magazines in addition to creating a highly-regarded photo documentary assignment throughout Canada.

Her travels eventually led her to the Washington, D.C. area.  “New York got to be too difficult, too expensive, just too many ‘too’s,’” she says with a laugh.  “I wasn’t photographing much anymore, so I thought, ‘What am I living here for?’”

Both New York natives, Leslie Katz (left) and Lida Moser are now happy to be living at Revitz House, the pet-friendly independent living residence of the Charles E. Smith Life Community.

Now a resident of Revitz House, she is quick to share how much she loves the surroundings, the staff and her fellow residents along with the countless amenities in the community.  In addition she says, “The food is phenomenal.”

A HUD-subsidized residence, Revitz House enables individuals to be part of a warm and friendly environment with access to restaurant-style dinners and the security of a personal emergency call system and 24-hour front desk.  It is just one of the soon-to-be six residences on the Charles E. Smith Life Communities campus that range in healthcare services from independent and assisted living to outpatient medical care, in-home private duty assistance and outstanding rehabilitation. Revitz House, the Hebrew Home’s Wasserman and Smith-Kogod Residences, Ring House, Landow House and the Hirsh Health Center will be joined this coming September by the Cohen-Rosen House, an assisted living residence designed to care for individuals with memory issues.

“Beginning with the first Hebrew Home in 1910, we have grown, changed and adapted to meet the dynamic and emerging needs in our community,” says Warren R. Slavin, President/CEO.   “The move from downtown Washington to the campus in Rockville more than 40 years ago opened the opportunity to expand both in terms of residences and programs, always staying true to our Jewish values.  Our goal is to make life more caring, more vital for that one man, that one woman, that one family.”

On the campus is a full-time onsite medical staff that includes physicians skilled in geriatric medicine along with a podiatrist and nurse practitioner who specialize in geriatric care.  The community offers person-centered quality care and programs and services that touch so many families, and prides itself on being open to everyone in the greater community.

A well-respected photographer and pioneer in photojournalism, Lida loves the amenities, surroundings and staff at her retirement community, but she particularly appreciates being able to have her dog, Melissa.

This welcoming nature extends even further, as Lida will happily vouch alongside her trusted companion, a miniature greyhound named Melissa.  In addition to the convenience and many offerings at Revitz House, it is clear Melissa has played a vital role in Lida’s happiness and well-being as the duo has been together since 2005.  “I love animals and I love nature. I think she’s gorgeous and graceful,” she says.

As perhaps expected, Lida willingly admits that she ‘spoils her friend rotten.’    “I’ve been feeding her too much. Her little behind was like nothing when I got her,” she says grinning.

Leslie Katz
Like Lida, Leslie Katz hails from New York, where she was on a fast-track career path. “I had an incredibly fascinating job,” she says.  Over the years, Leslie obtained two Masters Degrees, lived all over the globe and learned to speak several languages.

Her world dramatically changed, however, when she became sick and needed to leave her job and ultimately change the lifestyle she had loved so much.  Her condition was very rare, and was undiagnosed for nearly 13 years.

Leslie started to modify her lifestyle to accommodate her disability and budget, but after living in New Mexico and Charlottesville, Va., she yearned to return to the D.C. Metropolitan area.  While researching options, she learned about the Revitz House, which met her three key requirements: a central location, affordability and, most importantly, it was pet-friendly.

Animals have been an important part of Leslie’s life, spanning back to her childhood passion for horseback riding.  She refers to her current dog, Comfort, as her “lifeline.”

“He’s a much loved dog here and people like having him in the community. He loves to come down to the lobby and see all his friends,” Leslie says with a smile.

Now in the “recovery phase” of her illness, Leslie is taking her love for animals one step further by enrolling in a two-year education program to become a veterinary technician.

Leslie is enrolling in a two-year education program to become a vetrinary technician. Her dog and "lifeline," Comfort, is extremely popular at the senior living community as he is often seen greeting individuals in the lobby.

Although she has a driver’s license, one of the reasons she chose to move to Revitz House is the abundance of public transportation nearby in combination with the community’s complimentary bus transportation for regular trips to shopping and cultural outings.  As a result, Leslie enjoys saving money and not having to worry about the other hassles of maintaining a personal vehicle. 

With these impending changes, a vibrant environment and secure lifestyle, Lida and Leslie could not be more pleased with the choice they have made. Though they have the ability to be mobile and access the many amenities outside their community, it is especially important for these two women to know that when they return, they have two special friends happily waiting for them.

“I know that when I go home, he’s waiting for me, and he’s ‘it’ for me,” Leslie beams.