Then the phone rang. On the other end was a nurse saying that Harold had been in an accident and that Iris should get to the hospital right away. She did, but it was too late. Her best friend was gone in the blink of an eye, and the life Iris had known for 53 years was over.

Those individuals who have experienced the loss of a spouse understand how it is among the most stressful events in one’s life. Unfortunately, the grief associated with the loss is only the beginning of stress felt by widows and widowers.

For Iris, the stress really hit when she went to the bank and discovered that her name was not on their accounts. She could not even pull money out of the bank for groceries one day. Since Harold had done all the finances for 50 years, Iris realized she was not only unaware of where and what money they had, but she had no income (except his Social Security), and no credit.

It became clear to Iris that they should have met with a financial planner in advance of Harold’s death. Fortunately, a friend from church suggested she meet Nick Cieri, a financial planner at SmithBarney in Timonium. Since Nick had years of experience helping people with family issues and crises even prior to joining Smith Barney, the friend thought that he would have the compassion and insight to handle a recent widow with care.

Though it is strongly suggested that couples seek advice before a crisis, he welcomed working with Iris, understanding the vulnerable position in which she had been left.

He not only provided peace of mind, but helped her feel less overwhelmed and helpless by making sense of the piles of statements and bills. Nick also helped establish credit in her name while making or updating investment and insurance recommendations.

Though Iris suffered a tragic loss, she was able to find a friend, who with his compassion and assistance, felt very much like family.

The death of a loved one is a painful, stressful time and dealing with personal effects, wills, finances and funeral preparations is only an added frustration. Many Americans wrongfully assume the preparation for death can wait until they are senior citizens or in a retirement home. The fact is, often times when people wait till this point in life they are simply not in the best state of mind to prepare this type of information.

Terry Ann Black from Lafayette, Calif. knows the story all too well. After the death of her father-in-law, a safe deposit box key was discovered amongst his belongings with no information on where the actual box was located. Terry and her husband searched everywhere for some type of information or records about the box. After days of endless searching, frustration and sadness, Terry and her husband lost hope.

Anecdotes like these demonstrate that it is never too early to begin preparing for death. The best time is now. There are several, important road marks in life that can be great reasons for preparing this type of information; marriage, purchasing of real estate or the birth of children. Any time there is a significant change in life or finances, it is imperative the information and wishes be documented in a safe, secure place.

Many people underestimate the amount of information needed. Gathering all the crucial details can be timely and overwhelming. Important questions that might be overlooked in a will are:
-Where is your will kept?
-Do you have a guardian for your minor children
-Who is it and what is their phone number and address?
-Do you have any hidden assets?
-Do you own real estate other than your home? Where is it located?
-In the event of your death, who would you like notified?

Bringing up the subject of death preparation is both awkward and uncomfortable for everyone involved. This holiday season could be the perfect time to discuss details with your family and prepare and distribute the information. Compile it for your loved ones providing your survivors with a complete list of last wishes and personal records. Peace of mind during a difficult time can be the last and best gift they ever receive.

Caring Is Not Enough is a guidebook offering a simple and efficient way to prepare crucial, personal information before the end of life. The book contains more than 100 crucial questions and is an easy way to address the awkward subject with family members, friends and loved ones. The book is in question/answer format and takes approximately 1-4 hours to complete. Copies of Caring Is Not Enough can be ordered online at www.caringisnotenough.net

“It puzzles me that people don’t plan,” says Betty Stallings. A former Librarian and a self-described “long-range planner,” Mrs. Stallings has always had a detail-oriented eye to the future. Her forethought precipitated her move to a continuing care retirement community and the preplanning and prefunding of her funeral.

Mrs. Stallings has a Master’s in Library Science and was a librarian for the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD). She worked for HUD for 35 years before retiring, and in her last position, she was responsible for the operation of the Headquarters Library.

Several years before retiring, Mrs. Stallings started looking for a retirement community. She chose Westminster Canterbury of Richmond, a continuing care retirement community, because it offers lifelong care. The community is also close to her son and daughter-in-law, who live in Richmond. She laughs as she notes, “I moved here so that when I get old, I’ll be near someone in my family. Notice that I said ‘when.’”

Getting her funeral arrangements in order before moving to Richmond was a priority for Mrs. Stallings. A longtime resident of McLean, she wanted her funeral to be in the area, and she already had a burial plot in Rock Creek Cemetery. Since both her mother and her father had prearranged their funerals, Mrs. Stallings knew what a gift planning ahead would be to her family. Saving her children the stress of planning her funeral during an emotional time was one of her primary motivations for preplanning.

Like her parents before her, Mrs. Stallings turned to Joseph Gawler’s Sons, Funeral Directors to plan her funeral. “I knew I wanted to plan ahead, and I knew I wanted to work with Gawler’s. My family always has, and they have consistently done a wonderful job,” she notes.

Mrs. Stallings was prepared to preplan her funeral, but she did not really understand prefunding until meeting with Thom Norris, the Vice President and Advance Planning Specialist with Gawler’s. She remembers, “When Thom mentioned prefunding, I was very skeptical. After he explained that the money is held by a separate insurance company, not the funeral home, I realized that this was a safe and legitimate option.”

Thom explained to Mrs. Stallings that she could place the funds for her funeral into a policy held by American Memorial Life Insurance Company. This policy allowed Mrs. Stallings to pay today’s rates for services that will be rendered in the future. The money will only be paid to Gawler’s when services are provided. Before making a final decision, Mrs. Stallings also had her nephew, who is an insurance executive, review the policy; he assured her that the company was a responsible insurer.

Mrs. Stallings admits, “I realize that for some people preplanning may be uncomfortable, but I couldn’t be more pleased that everything is done. I know that these are hard things to think about, but it is such a relief when it is all planned.”

Having planned for the long-term, Mrs. Stallings now simply consults her day planner to see what volunteer or social activity is next. There is her volunteer work in the Development Office of her new Richmond church and service on the Resident’s Council at Westminster Canterbury. Then there is her work with the AARP Tax Aide program during tax season.

And just last month, there was an Elderhostel in Richmond, during which Mrs. Stallings learned all about her new city. Add local tours for all her friends and family to her calendar.

*Plan Today*
In recent years, there has been a dramatic upsurge in the number of consumers who choose to preplan their funerals. The National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) explains this growth by looking to the aging baby boomer population, who are “known for their desire to control all aspects of their life and for developing their own ideas.”

Many seniors and younger individuals have joined the forward-thinking boomers in revising how funeral preplanning is perceived. This new breed of consumer fully recognizes the benefits of planning ahead. In addition to removing the burden of planning their funeral from their loved ones, preplanning ensures that specific desires for the ceremony and the type of burial are honored.

*Become an Informed Consumer*
Before beginning to shop for a provider, consumers should be aware of the Federal Trade Commission’s Funeral Rule, which requires that funeral directors provide itemized prices. The Rule also states that consumers have the right to buy individual goods and services, not just complete “packages.” Consumers must be informed if they are required to purchase an item they do not specifically request. An explanation, stating why an applicable item is required and who requires it, must be in writing on the consumer contract.

For more detailed decision-making advice, consumers can turn to The Funeral Service Consumer Assistance Program (FSCAP). The non-profit program offers free information, helpful resources, and recommendations. For more information, contact FSCAP at 1-800-228-6332.

*Shop and Decide*
Once consumers are aware of their rights, they should begin to consider their personal needs and desires. First and foremost, individuals must decide what type of funeral they want. Funeral service providers offer many types of ceremonies and events, from traditional funerals to alternative events such as catered receptions.

Providers are increasingly offering unique options that vary widely from the traditional funeral. Today, funeral directors and funeral homes can offer a nearly limitless range of options. For those looking for an event that is painstakingly crafted, full-service funeral planners are also available. These professionals work in conjunction with funeral directors to create services specially catered to individuals.

*Choose a Provider*
Choosing a funeral provider is the next step in the planning process. Individuals need to compare providers in order to find one they feel comfortable with in a price range that is within their budget. Funeral providers are generally selected based on a combination of the services they offer, the facilities they use, and the expertise and professionalism that they demonstrate.

*Understand Payment Options*
The final choice that individuals must make while preplanning a funeral is whether or not to pay for funeral arrangements in advance. Pre-funding is not a requirement for preplanning; however, there are some advantages to pre-funding.

Pre-funding allows individuals to allocate money for goods and services that will be provided in the future and guarantee price at current rates. The average cost of a funeral today is $6,000, according to the Federal Trade Commission. When the price of flowers, limousines, vaults, and other items are added to the base cost, the total cost can be as much as $10,000-or more. By pre-funding, individuals are able to stretch their available dollars further to meet all of their needs and desires.

According to NFDA, methods for pre-funding include a trust established by a funeral director, a life insurance policy equal to the value of the funeral, or a savings account that is “payable on death” to the funeral home. While choosing the appropriate pre-funding option, there are several important considerations, including: taxes on the account, interest from the account, refund options, transferability in case of a move, and the option to change the funeral home designated to provide the service.

*Take Action*
Preplanning, whether or not it involves pre-funding, serves the needs and desires of consumers and their loved ones. As more intelligent consumers are making the decision to plan ahead, their families are reaping the benefit of their foresight and enjoying a service that truly reflects their loved one.

Life has always involved planning, and those who plan ahead have always benefited: a less chaotic wedding, a seamless move, or a well funded retirement are all remarkable accomplishments. A well planned funeral is just as important. A funeral service that reflects an individual’s personal taste and style and does not unnecessarily burden their family members is the logical capstone to a life well planned and well lived.

For more information, visit the National Funeral Directors Association at www.nfda.org.

For many individuals planning a funeral is a task to be avoided, but for others, who see the value and importance of a personal memorial service, planning a unique service is an essential task. These individuals may use the planning process to say a personal and poignant goodbye to family and friends. They may be looking for a truly special way to honor a loved one. They are all looking for a memorial service that goes beyond the traditional funeral.

As more and more consumers seek personalized and unique funeral services, funeral event planners are meeting their unique needs. Companies like Washington, D.C.-based Tributes Events create customized memorial services that celebrate the principal events and unique character of a person’s life.

Tributes is currently working with Joseph Gawler’s Sons, Funeral Directors to offer customized funeral planning and preplanning services to local customers. Sally explains the importance of this partnership: “We knew early on that we needed to partner with a local funeral home that had a solid reputation for quality and service. Gawler’s is the best at what they do. We are there to enhance their service offerings.”

By providing video biographies, custom music selections, unique printed materials, decor and floral design, and reception planning and catering, Tributes Events is able to create a memorial service that could not be duplicated. Sally realized that “the desire to add a truly personal element and a lasting statement is important to many people.” She has filled this need for her many customers.

Haloli Richter sought out Tributes Events at the age of 63. She had been diagnosed with liver cancer and knew she had only a few months to live. Sally remembers Richter as a “remarkably gifted woman with a wide circle of friends.” A native of Austria, Richter wanted to create a memorial service that was a celebration of her life for her friends.

Richter requested a minimalist decor, specified a menu complete with her favorite foods, selected the music, and chose speakers representing all parts of her life. Ms. Richter’s final step in preparing for her memorial service was composing a video, which Tributes produced. During the video, she told her story and expressed her feelings about her life. She ended the video by saying goodbye to her friends and family and reassuring them that she was fine. After watching the video on a large screen, guests filed out to Ms. Richter’s favorite opera music.

When Bette Runge passed away at the age of 83, Tributes Events planned a reception for the well-known tango dancer complete with Cuban food, sangria, and tango dancing. Of Ms. Runge, Sally notes, “She was credited with bringing Argentine Tango to this area and established a following of students and fellow dancers. The reception was exactly what she would have wanted.”

As more unique individuals like Richter and Runge request memorial services that truly honor their lifestyles and their distinct personalities, funeral event planners are seeing a rapid increase in demand. Family and friends are especially thankful for the opportunity to experience a tribute that is as unique as their loved one.

Even in her free time, Sally does charitable work. “I have the privilege of sitting on the Board of Directors of a local charity that provides trained, volunteer representatives for children in cases of abuse and neglect. It does very important work and I am pleased to contribute my time and abilities to their cause.” Sally also enjoys spending time outdoors, especially in her garden.

Despite her young age, Sally and her husband recently decided to begin preplanning their funerals. Sally explains their motivation to plan ahead: “In 2004, my mother died. Going through the funeral process with my father and my siblings made me realize just how valuable pre-arrangement is. I really started thinking about it then.” She continues, “My parents had already planned everything. Thanks to their foresight the family did not have to deal with all those details. We were able to focus on being together and remembering my mother.”

Realizing that her family had made the right decision, Sally and her husband began to consider their own funeral arrangements. They turned immediately to Joseph Gawler’s Sons, Funeral Directors because of its convenient location and reputation. The Smiths began working with Thom Norris, the Vice President of Advance Planning Services. Of Thom, Sally says, “We were really aware that we were getting top quality assistance from Thom from the beginning. It was clear that his primary concern was meeting our goals, not just selling us a product.”

The Smiths reviewed the available plans, but were not completely satisfied with any of them. After telling Thom what they liked and disliked about two different plans, he was able to negotiate a plan that catered to their specific needs. “We walked away very satisfied. They made some adjustments to their standard plan to meet all of our needs, and everything was done within our price range,” Sally notes.

Now that their arrangements are made, the Smiths feel a sense of relief. Knowing that their family members will never have to face these difficult decisions is a great comfort. Sally concludes, “Making these final arrangements in advance is one of the most loving things that an individual can do for loved ones.”

A End of Life survey of AARP members 50 years of age and over noted that a little over one-half (55%) of respondents have an Advance Directive, such as a living will or a health care power of attorney. While 60% have spoken with family about end of life wishes, only 23% have spoken with a lawyer.

A National Hospice Foundation 1999 public opinion survey of people 45 years of age and older noted that Americans are more willing to talk about safe sex and drugs with their children than to discuss end-of-life-care with their parents. Also of note: Only 24% of Americans put into writing how they want to be cared for at the end-of-life.

The preparation of Advance Directives – living wills, medical powers of attorney and written health care proxies – is key to avoiding emotional turmoils and legal battles later. There is nothing more heartwrenching that watching a family battle advocacy groups, the courts, and the media to determine their loved one’s unstated wishes.

Elder law attorneys specialize in issues that address the entire life spectrum. This expertise allows them to work effectively with clients to identify and provide for the medical, legal and family circumstances and issues inherent in preparing for the end-of-life.

Advance Directives include three primary documents:
1. A Living Will is a statement of how an individual would like to be treated in the event that he or she is unable to make decisions regarding the use of life sustaining medical treatment. This document allows the individual to determine the use (or non-use) of life sustaining measures and under what circumstances they may or may not be applied.

2. A Health Care Proxy is the voice of the living will, authorizing one or more individuals to communicate a client’s wishes regarding end-of-life treatment. In its basic form, depending on state law, it does not provide any additional authority. In some states “proxy” is synonymous with health care power of attorney or is the word used when there is no self-selected surrogate.

3. A Health Care Power of Attorney is the teeth of the living will. It not only authorizes an individual to communicate a client’s medical instructions, but can provide a host of other powers in the appointment of an Agent who can: (1) hire and discharge medical personnel and medical institutions, (2) access and provide details regarding a client’s medical history, and (3) consent to a “Do Not Resuscitate” (DNR) Order for a client.

One Size Fits All?
The National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys (NAELA) discourages the use of standard forms that presume uniformity of thinking. Many client provisions require individual focus and discussion. Standard forms simply do not address many important client circumstances or issues. Some clients have a pre-existing condition that may need to be addressed, or a family member who may be known to object to the client’s wishes, or a specific treatment concern. When NAELA attorneys prepare documents for clients, a host of questions are first asked, including…

1. Who will serve as the Agent for Health Care? Who will serve as the alternate? If co-agents are appointed, must they act together or may they act independently?

2. Should the Agent for Health Care be required to be present when the client is weak/medicated, but conscious enough to make a decision?

3. Should blood transfusions be limited to those provided by family members and/or friends?

4. Are you willing to accept experimental treatment? What about the use artificial nutrition and hydration?

5. Should the Agent for Health Care be required to push home care as the first or only alternative?

6. Do you have a preference to include the entry of a physician’s “Do Not Resuscitate” Order to take effect either immediately or at some defined point in the future?

7. Do you want treatment refused if it means becoming completely dependent upon others? What if it means having to suffer chronic pain or taking pain medication that will reduce or eliminate the ability to
communicate?

8. Do you want access to maximum pain control even if the medication has the potential to be addictive or the dosage could be lethal?

9. Do you want to refuse treatment for reversible secondary conditions (e.g., pneumonia, infection) when the treatment would be of low burden (e.g. antibiotics) and the consequence of non-treatment might be an earlier death than if the condition were treated?

10. Do you want to refuse chemotherapy if death is imminent?

11. Do you want to accept euthanasia if permitted by law?

12. Would you like to make anatomical gifts or give the agent the power and authority to make these life saving gifts?

13. Do you have any individual wishes regarding healthcare (e.g. music, specific health facility, religious limitations etc.)?

14. Would you like music played if you cannot communicate? Which music?

15. Should the health care provider’s or specific family member’s ability be limited to intervene in medical decisions or to petition the court for intervention?

16. What do you wish be done with your remains?

Choosing an Agent or Surrogate for Health Care Decisions
The best documents are meaningless if there is no advocate or if the terms are not enforced. It follows that the choice of agent or surrogate is critical. An elder law attorney can assist clients in making the right choice. The agent should be an individual who is, or can learn to be, comfortable with medical terminology in a health care setting. The agent must be sufficiently encouraged to be persistent and strong so that recalcitrant health care providers do not interfere with the decision-making rights of the patient/client. Ideally, the agent reviews the document, discusses its terms with the individual and agrees to accept this responsibility.

In Summary
At press time, the Governor of Florida is considering appealing the Florida Supreme Court decision in the Schiavo case. An appeal of equal importance is one to all Americans – from eighteen to one hundred and eighteen – to get their affairs in order and avoid a potential legal battle. Every individual has a right to determine how they live out their last days and owes it to their family to express those wishes. Abdication of these responsibilities only leads to anguish as families are left to sort through the emotional, legal, moral, and social ramifications at a time when they are most vulnerable. Taking the step to contact an elder law attorney will allow an individual the opportunity to identify and remedy these issues before they become a problem for the ones we love.

For more information about elder law attorneys and the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, visit www.naela.org. Established in 1987, NAELA provides a resource of information, education, networking and assistance to those who deal with the many specialized issues involved with legal services to the elderly and people with special needs.

Once family members overcome their disbelief, shock, and anger about the pending end of life for their loved one, they often seek opportunities to demonstrate caring, to eliminate stress, and provide a peaceful environment. Focus becomes seeking ways to express love, and listening and intervening for patient comfort, while fighting feelings of denial, grief and depression. Controlling sounds in a hospice room can be an important ingredient for peace, comfort, and harmony for both the patient and the family.

Sound therapy is one way of balancing sound waves and frequencies in the external environment with the internal waves and frequencies of the human body. Use of soothing sounds promotes peace and harmony in an atmosphere often full of distress and pain.

Family Feelings
Unexpected sudden death creates its own trauma for all involved. The physical reality of loss follows quickly with funeral processions and gravesite goodbyes. The loved one is out of sight. The door has been closed. A family in a hospice environment, however, becomes involved in facing a diagnosis of shortened life expectancy for their loved one that could range anywhere from three to six weeks.

If one could identify any advantages between the two situations, it might be that the grief process begins immediately in sudden death situations. In the hospice environment, however, there is a sense of unrealistic hope gradually followed by feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. There can also be feeling of wanting to do something “for” the patients-something more than sitting and waiting for the end. Sound therapy offers a proactive way to involve the family in the end of life experience.

Patient Intervention

Comfort, and Support
Sounds can affect patients both emotionally and physically. Distractions from extraneous noise can be a source of stress and diminishes comfort, creating restlessness and discontent. Appropriate sound therapy promotes and rejuvenates brainwaves, thereby promoting relaxation and comfort. Proper use of sound therapy can create positive balance and promote harmony to internal organs using external instruments, strategies and tools. A deliberate selection and control of a variety sounds can assist in encouraging better sleep, promoting reduction of physical pain, relaxing the atmosphere from stress, and comforting the patient through the end of life process.

Because our bodies are composed of a series of waves and frequencies, we respond to sound at different levels of comfort depending on the type of sounds. Sound therapy, therefore, can provide an enormous benefit to hospice patients and their families. In an environment in which a variety of physical and emotional situations can affect balance and harmony, introduction of sound therapy becomes a beneficial tool no matter the age of the patient or family member. In an atmosphere where lack of control of inevitable death is ever present, sound therapy allows both patient and family members to temporarily control their environment.

Sound therapy can help eliminate mental stress and worry while easing physical tension, shock, and anger over situations that cannot be controlled.
Specifically, sound therapy:
Reduces stress.
Relieves anxiety.
Encourages calm, comforting thoughts.
Provides physical relaxation.
Encourages better sleep.

How Can You Provide Sound Therapy Balance for Hospice Patient?
It is important to monitor and adjust the patient’s room atmosphere. This can be accomplished using such instruments as soothing sound machines and relaxing music. The volume and sound selections are easy to control and help set the tone for the room.

Visitors should also avoid overuse of television as the noise from commercials can negatively affect the atmosphere in the patient’s room and has been proven to affect body functions and create mental discord.

Family members, who are directly involved in patient care, can be a positive source of harmony and comfort by dealing with causes of patient distress during a traumatic time. Proactive involvement in a hospice environment can also help individual members bring closure, having participated in an end of life process.

Theresa V. Wilson, M.Ed. is a freelance writer and owner of a home based business dedicated to providing products and resources for grieving families and caregivers facing health recovery and crisis related issues. Her Grief and Health support sites are www.meetingtheneeds.org and www.renewingyourhealth.org.

Alan and Katharine Jung are truly a model for ideal retirement living. Not only have their retirement living decisions been well thought-out and proactive, but they have also embraced the new opportunities that retirement offers and are fully enjoying what they refer to as a “new season in their life.” The couple can certainly offer helpful advice to others concerning retirement living decisions-right down to the downsizing checklist Katharine devised.

They did just that during a recent presentation for their fellow residents and prospective residents at Carroll Lutheran Village, a continuing care retirement community in Westminster, MD. Their presentation was part of a program about retirement living decisions, which included various senior -serving professionals.

Putting themselves in a position to fully enjoy their senior years has always been on the agenda for these two planners. As Alan relates, “We were kind of in a unique situation in that we always knew that our home-office combination would be the cornerstone of our retirement financially. We always had the mindset in place that is necessary to leave your home. Too many people are tied to their homes, but we really weren’t. We had plenty of time to prepare for the move.” After Alan retired from his dental practice in 1991, the couple began preparing for moving from their spacious home to a one-bedroom apartment, which necessitated a radical downsizing of their possessions.

“Downsizing can be a painful procedure for some people,” admits Katharine. However, Katharine and Alan helped ease the stress of downsizing by utilizing an ingenious inventory checklist. This gave all three of the Jung’s children an opportunity to discuss items with their spouses and decide what they wanted. It also allowed the Jungs to dispose of any unwanted items. Despite the hard work and difficulties involved in the moving process, the Jungs found it to be a rewarding experience: “The process was truly a liberating experience for us, because we came to the understanding of how relatively unimportant ‘things’ are in our life.”

Reducing their baggage allowed the couple to completely change their lifestyle. They moved to a waterfront apartment in Baltimore, which they speak of fondly as “a wonderful place, in a great, urban environment.” Unfortunately, though, the living arrangement wasn’t as secure as the Jungs would have liked. Alan explains, “The landlord and his wife were people that I knew, and we had grown up in the same neighborhood. We were happy living with them, but they were getting older, and I began to wonder from time to time what would happen to us if they died. I just didn’t feel secure for the long haul in that environment, so I began to think of other options. My primary motive was to get Katharine into a position so that I could feel secure that if something happened to me she would be set.”

Alan talked about his apprehensions with Katharine and discovered that she was concerned for his future as well. After discussing it, the couple decided that it was important to ensure that their children did not have to make any retirement-related decisions for them. “I knew what it was like to have to make decisions for aging parents, and I didn’t want our children to have to go through that. These are difficult decisions and can be heart-rending and often the right choice is not really clear. So we thought it was best to eliminate all their potential worries, take care of ourselves, and let them get on with their lives,” recalls Alan.

After some preliminary research, the couple realized that a continuing care retirement community (CCRC) could offer them “the best of all worlds, since it offered comfort, safety, security, and freedom of movement at the Residential Living level. A seamless transfer between various levels of health care would be there too, if the need ever arose.” They started investigating CCRCs on-line and visited several communities in the Baltimore area. When they went to visit Carroll Lutheran Village, they knew they had found their home amidst the beautiful grounds and welcoming residents.

“What’s not to like about this place?,” asks Alan. “We have lived here for two and a half years now, and we couldn’t be happier. Everything we could possibly need or want is right here.” In fact, the two are very involved in the community. Katharine serves on the Hospitality Committee, which is an integral part of the Resident Association. The committee helps new residents settle in by providing them with dinner arrangements and introductions. As Katharine points out, “We want to make sure that we acquaint new residents not only with the physical campus, but also with the people and our way of life here. It’s incredibly important to help people adjust to the move because it can be very traumatic for some people.”

Katharine will have the opportunity to welcome countless new residents once the Village’s new expansion, Wakefield Overlook, is completed. Wakefield Overlook is a premier, full-service community that will include 82 modern apartments, 60 Village homes, and a Mission Square featuring a Wellness Center and Hospitality Center. The expansion project began in the spring of 2004 and, once completed, will nearly double the size of the Village. The project will add countless amenities to the community, including a 25-meter pool, a whirlpool, a spa, an exercise room, and several common areas.

Although Katharine and Alan have no plans to move from their current apartment in the Village, they are looking forward to enjoying the new facilities and to meeting new neighbors. Katharine relates, “The new Overlook is going to be an entirely different complex, and it will have a great community feel. All of the amenities will be available to all of us, and I’m really looking forward to the swimming pool.”

To individuals who may be considering a move, Katharine and Alan suggest, “Don’t Wait!” Katharine advises, “You have no real picture of how wonderful the freedom of living in a retirement community is until you’ve moved. It’s like living in any place, except you have the freedom to come and go as you please. You have all types of amenities available to you and no responsibility for home or ground maintenance.”

With all their plans settled, this couple now spends most of their time volunteering to improve their community and spending time with their children and grandchildren. From the beginning, they had a plan for the future and seeing that plan come to fruition has been very rewarding. Of the completed moves and their new lifestyle, Alan concludes, “Katharine and I have been truly blessed in this new season of our lives.” Katharine adds, “It is very important that people try to look forward to what they have to enjoy later in life.” Katharine and Alan Jung continue to do just that-look forward to their future.

“I always knew I was going to be in some kind of helping profession.” This is how Mrs. Hofstein explains her work as the administrator of the first apartment house for mentally ill adults on Long Island. The aptly named Hofstein House is still in operation today. Hofstein House provides independent apartments to 50 mentally ill adults, allowing them to retain their independence while providing them with the convenience of a social worker on-site, who offers counseling and assistance with locating a job.

Establishing and operating this facility wasn’t Mrs. Hofstein’s first stint with serving the needy though; she left her home in London to become a part of a Jewish relief unit in Europe during WW II. After a training program, she spent two years in Europe: “We were sent to Europe where we went through Holland. We got to Rotterdam the day it was liberated and we worked in Rotterdam for a while and then we went to Bergen-Belsoen when it was liberated. I was the child welfare officer in charge of all the children in the camp. This involved taking care of 83 children from the concentrations camps, who were all orphans.” While her work in Europe was emotionally challenging, it was certainly rewarding to help these children who so desperately needed her. However, one of the most unexpected rewards of her time in Europe was the opportunity to meet her future husband, an American solider from New York.

At the end of the war, Mrs. Hofstein returned to the states with her husband and started a daycare center in Brooklyn, where she worked until she became the Mental Health Association Director in Nassau, a job she held for 25 years. She retired from the position, and left her work at Hofstein house 3 years ago at the age of 77, but she still visits frequently and is continually involved in the operation of the facility. Of the challenging nature of her work, Mrs. Hofstein relates, “We were responsible for several hundred mentally ill adults, which can certainly be stressful. But it’s work that needs to be done, so you do it; at the time you don’t think about the stress of it. I loved my work, and I missed it for a time when I retired.”

Mrs. Hofstein quickly learned that retirement would offer much-deserved opportunities to relax and enjoy herself. After initially looking into a facility in Long Island, Mrs. Hofstein really began to enjoy the idea of living in a retirement community: “I got caught up in the idea of not having to cook and clean. If you’re still able-bodied, and my husband and I were at the time, it’s easy to want to stay in your own home, but I think it’s important for people to look ahead and realize there’s going to come a time when they don’t want to cook anymore. The idea of going shopping or making dinner every night absolutely appalls me now.”

When Sadie and her husband discussed their potential move with their son, he suggested that they move to a life-care community in the Philadelphia area, so they would be closer to him. Although the couple initially resisted the idea, they visited communities in Philadelphia and liked Martins Run so much that they decided to make the move. For the Hofsteins, Martins Run really met all their criteria: “We wanted to be in a Jewish community, and this is, but it was really the sense of warmth we got from the people that convinced us this was the right place. There’s no question that the people who work here are warm and friendly, but it is essentially the other residents, who were so welcoming.”

In fact, the “O.K.” sign outside her door is a program that was devised by, and is entirely operated by, residents. Mrs. Hofstein explains, “You put out the sign anytime after 4 o’clock in the morning and one person on each corridor is responsible for picking up those signs and putting them back on your door. If they don’t see the signs, they call you or knock on your door. If there’s no reply, they will call the central office. They’ve found people who have fallen in the middle of the night. It’s a very useful system.” It also is a clear demonstration of the compassionate, communal atmosphere at Martins Run.

It is the benevolent conduct of the other residents that has helped Mrs. Hofstein through the past year. Unfortunately, a short time after their move, Mrs. Hofstein’s husband became ill and died suddenly. Throughout this challenging time, Mrs. Hofstein has managed to keep a positive attitude, partially due to the support she receives from other community members: “Considering my husband died relatively suddenly, it should have been a terrible year, but it hasn’t been. I mean, I have made friends here. The environment is conducive to making friends; there’s no question about that.”

Mrs. Hofstein and the other residents are able to easily make new friends because of the variety of programs offered at the community. She relates that she has always been a “participator:” “I go to many things. I like the music programs here, as well as the writing class. I also go line dancing. Of course, there are always community outings too-to the opera or the theater. This is an active place.” For a woman who has worked so hard, this stress-free lifestyle is still a novelty. “I only have to get up in the morning and say, ‘what shall I do today to amuse myself?,’ relates Mrs. Hofstein. Secure in the fact that she will be provided for should a need for care arise, Mrs. Hofstein is free to fully enjoy herself.

After providing for so many others in need, Sadie has finally settled into the new-found role of care recipient, one which she fits her quite nicely. In fact, she strongly recommends that others follow in her footsteps: “I’ve talked to a number of would-be residents who are my age and older and they’re always not ready. The truth is most of them are over-ripe. I often think people do leave their homes too late. It’s best if you come to a facility when you’re still able to enjoy what all it has to offer.” Not only did her move prove to be terrific decision for herself but also for her children. She admits, “Martins Run is great because I am not totally dependent on my son. That works for him too. I like that aspect of it. There’s a good feeling about not having to be dependent on your children.”

After devoting so much of her life to social and volunteer work, Mrs. Hofstein has been thrilled with the opportunity to make new friends and expand her busy social schedule at Martins Run. “You will find that the folks my age who live on the outside often have limited social lives. Once people make the move, very few of them are sorry. The bottom line for most people is: will they make friends here? The rest of it’s all garbage. It doesn’t matter really–the food, the housekeeping, etc. — it’s are you able to form relationships here. For most, the answer is ‘yes.’” Mrs. Hofstein has certainly developed strong bonds with her fellow residents and her social calendar is booked for weeks in advance, with classes, outings, discussion groups, and card games.

As the sign outside her door relates Mrs. Hofstein is certainly ‘o.k.,’ in fact she is flourishing in her new home, which has become a place to relax and reward herself for a lifetime of hard work and good deeds, a legacy which is represented by the nearby Hofstein House plaque.